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I feel repetitive and boring. And I'm done with it. I don't know when I will update again... maybe tomorrow. Maybe not. I think I'm just done for awhile. There are things begging to be written out but I'm not ready to face it yet. Nor am I ready to share.

And then there was silence........................
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theaceface:
Sometimes a break is a good thing. Duh. See you when you get back...
heatherann:
You can always PM me if you need anything at all, even if it's just to vent.
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Sometimes I'm not sure why things make me happy.... Judge me. Do it... cause I have.













yeah enjoy. HAHHAHAHAHA


it's been a rough day. plain and simple.
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theconservative:
Nothing wrong with guilty pleasures.

"jizz in my pants" is truly epic. i especially love the look timberlake makes when the dude "needs a clean up on aisle 3".

I also love the video for "boombox" it took me a couple of listens to truly appreciate it...but it owns as well.
bhavok:
Jizz in my pants is a CLASSIC!!
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nothing witty... just pretty music...


the video is awful.



INXS makes me happy. So does Michael Hutchence... but sad too.

Reworking plans... I am being logical and practical and putting things I REALLY want on the back burner.

And a website and group that helps me get through the days... I want to work for them. Maybe I should just write something and see if...
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theconservative:
ouch, i can't say i understand the desire to cut. but i understand addiction. hell...i can't quit chewing my fingernails. just keep in mind that over 7 years is a long time. if you went that long, you can go one more day, and one more, and one more...
sokuto1974:
Gotta agree with the above comment. You have lasted so long, just keep telling yourself that! You could keep this up forever if you wanted to! x
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I think every day I am going to dedicate 10 minutes to stream of conscious writing. Not on here - don't want to scare anyone, but somewhere. I have an online blog, but I haven't started it yet. Maybe there... maybe in my journal. We shall see.

It is currently pouring outside. This does not excite me, only because I have to take the beasts...
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theconservative:
I'm sure most people are carrying a good amount of dead weight friend-wise.

house cleaning is a good thing.

does that comment keep me on the list?
jace:
I just ate some frozen yogurt and my stomach is making really weird noises.

That farm looks delightful, but it also looks sticky. Not sure why.

<333333333
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I am currently really enjoying this weekend. I am relaxing, sleeping in, hanging with the pups and grampa, wandering the farm, watching movie and NCIS... having me time.

I'm starting to not be as excited as i was about going to Cali... I think it's because it's the weekend before midterms. Maybe I will just wait and come out for my bday. Or a different...
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bettybruises:
well i'm excited about you coming to california tongue and you will be too, once it gets closer!
bhavok:
smilesmile
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I am sad. I am in pain. I hurt in ways I didn't think was possible. There are moments when I am worried about the safety of my flesh.

Yesterday I went upstairs to his room, like I always do when I get to the farm and his bed was unmade and moved. Let's just say I practically collapsed on the floor in tears. I...
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theconservative:
ouch...

i'm sorry.
ahnhell:
The pain of not having someone you love in corporeal form anymore is astounding isn't it? I completely understand. Even when you know they aren't gone. Even when they're so close you can still feel them and picture them in your mind perfectly. Touch is so important and that aspect, is gone. Tangible, is gone.


There's not much to say to comfort someone during these times but a friend of mine actually said something that helped me about 7 years ago when a very close friend died. I don't know if he came up with it or if its in a quote book somewhere.


"your suffering is testament to the greatness you once felt" I've never heard a saying more appropriate.

Love you baby. <3


Also, thank you smile
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So apparently I am headed for a life of loneliness and misery... because I do not trust people. Well yes, I do not trust people after 10 days, especially those I meet on here. SORRY that I am a skeptic. But it just proves to me that some people can't hang. I am self-destructive I know that. I really don't appreciate being told I should...
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dpgc44:
I doubt that the guy is worth the heels or flats you walk in to do that. No worries, you will be in Cali soon where you will fall in love with the place again.
charbo:
Fox Mulder said it best when he stated "Trust No one".

Or actually it was something that Deepthroat said.
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I feel a really long rant coming on... or maybe more like stream of consciousness. But that will have to wait until I take my finals tomorrow. I have one for Fundamentals of Chinese Medicine and then I have a make up quiz (which is longer than the final) for Acupuncture Points 1. And I figure since the final is pretty much the same fucking...
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goatsofdoom:
:S
Good luck...

Oh, and I think you mean "sexting"smile
psylentmike:
Good luck on your finals tomorrow.

Try not to beat up on yourself too much. I don't think you're any crazier than the rest of us. All you do is take things one day at a time.
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And today is the day I start to have mini breakdowns... Today is one of those days that makes you question everything. I really just want to pick up and go. Anybody have a job and a couch in San Diego I can have? I think this is just pushing me to get out of here by the end of the summer. A semester earlier...
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andsoitgoes:
Stabbing Westward is win man!

And I wish I could say I did. I'm sorry to hear about your uncle. To have someone that close to you not there... Well damn...

One thing I can say though, is that this could potentially make you so much stronger. That's the best way to think about it, focus on that and I think you're very likely to not only make it through, but become such a better person in the process.

You're in my thoughts! biggrin
goatsofdoom:
You know, I actually like the Johnny Cash version of "Hurt" better. There's just something about his rough, almost spoken delivery...

All the best!
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they broke the mold when they made me. plain and fucking simple. and if you don't believe it then you don't deserve me in your life.


(how did you like my attempt at self-confidence?)
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tireoghain:
If man meat makes you happy, imagine lard in a leather (or bright vinyl!) glove.

I'm sure there is some level of wacky in there somewhere.

And yes, yes chemical chance did break the mold smile
dpgc44:
Harley whomever is dissing on you is gonna get roundhoused by me! Have you ever been round housed by a fat asian? I dont think so.lol Make a trip to the bay.. or I might come down to hang out with my buddies if you want to come with? I am El Segundo which is right next to LAX