rexall

I cry over a boy that lives across the world. My heart hurts for him. And it all went to shit in a flash. It was so good. Then it was so bad. I would give anything to fix it. I have this pile of crap I bought and put together for care packages and it stares at me. I am stupid for letting things get out of control. I'm an idiot for involving emotions I haven't felt since the beginning of River almost 8 years ago. It was nice to be that happy for awhile I will cross my fingers that in a couple months we will be able to talk again without all the stupidity. I know it's too soon and I won't make any attempts because it's best for him, in my opinion.

I just needed to get that out cus stupid songs make me think of him and before I know it I'm crying and puppy is licking my face trying to make me feel better.

In 2 weeks, my 8 year anniversary would have been happening. The day after I get a shot in my spine at the hospital he works at. Fate can't be so cruel as to make us see each other right? I really can't handle that. My birthday very soon will be rough enough without that as an added bonus.

I'm gonna sleep now. I'm sad.