Okay here goes:
I woke up Sat. with a very bad sore throat. I took a vitamin C tablet and drove to Matt's house where he was suprsingly dressed and ready to go.
About 20 miles into Florida we saw a sign for a 15 foot great white shark. We stopped but was informed that the shark died last the week before.
I have no C.D. player in my truck but the drive was not boring (we saw a sign that said Adult Toys and Great Food-we stopped and it turned out to be a closed restaurant)and quite nice until mile 289. It was then that my truck broke down by the interstate. It turned out to be the transmission. We had help pushing the truck across the highway to a machanic's shop. The head guy told us that if I left it there he would have to take my car keys. So instead of handing my keys to a total stranger, we finally got it started ourselves. Twenty miles later it shut off again. Bear in mind that Tampa was a mere 20 miles away and I was determined to make it to the show. Pogo checked the transmission fluid and made the assumption, that turned out to be correct, that we needed about 4 litres of fluid. So we Tom and Jerryed (walked) to the nearest gas station. On the way we saw a photo lying on the ground of a naked girl tied to a bed. You could see a tan pair of hairy legs in the background. The photo had an air of insincerity to it and looked staged. We also saw a smashed turtle, a victim of road rage no doubt.
Finally we got the truck going and hauled ass down the road; the truck looking as if it was on fire.
We checked in our hotel around 7, took a quick shower and headed to the club. Now I guess is a good time to mention that it was like an inferno in Fla. and I don't have A.C. in my truck, so I drove like a redneck with my shirt off. I now had a horrible sunburn from my shoulder down to my hand. Only my wrist was spared due to my watch.
The show: Jesus, where to start?
Goddamn it was so great. This is out of order and I know I won't cover the entire show but: Reagan and RavenIsis did a beautiful Goldfinger dance that had me yelling my already sore throat to new extremes of pain. Pearl and Nixon performed a funny and sexy retelling of The Graduate. RavenIsis later did a solo on a chair that made me wish I was better looking.
Sicily later hit me and Pogo on the head with a huge rubber ear during the Reservoir Dogs set. It was great. Later on she stabbed a teddy bear with a pair of scissors. You should have been there (and why weren't you there-something better to do?!).Reagan and Stormy did a great set together. Stormy is the sexiest plumber in the history of indoor plumbing. She also poured a bottle of chocolate sauce on my head. I don't want to give away the whole show so I'll move on to the pissed off girl. Oh I have to mention Pearl's hoola-hoop dance. My jaw hit the ground. It was fucking amazing. I could never master the art of the hoola hoop (she signed my poster "Hoop you enjoyed the show"-it took three days but I get it now!).
Okay. The pissed off girl. I was waiting to buy the poster I just mentioned. I finally bought it (after some dickhead that didn't have enough $$ to buy his shirt and was trying to bargain). Shera sold to to me and then signed it. As I was walking off some chick started pointing at me angrily and saying something that started with "That guy...." I'm still not sure what her damage was. I thought at first that she thought I didn't pay for my poster. Later in the hotel while I coudln't sleep, I came to the conclusion that maybe I broke in "line" or something. I'm going with that. It was okay because a mere seconds later I got Stormy to sign my poster. I have no social skills whatsoever so I gave her a Dane Cook C.D. and said something to the likes of "uh, you, uh said you wanted this so, uh....here." My awkwardness was soon forgotten as she gave a a huge hug. It was the greatest moment of my life. I later put $10 in the tip jar (the price of two posters).
After the show Pogo and I talked to Nick from Whole Wheat Bread. He was impressed at the distance we drove and I was impressed that back in Jan. we saw there first ever show together. He told us that he'd get put me and Pogo on a list to get in for free the next day. We both said thanks but didn't mention that I had already paid for our tickets in advance. THese guys are the shit. Buy thier album when it comes out. I command you!
Day One completed.
The next day we drove to Gainsville which was approximately 110 miles. We got there about 6 hours before the show. We got so bored walking around the mall that we went to the movies. Shear embarrassement will make me keep the movie of choice a secret. Suffice it to say that the protaginist's character was NOT fleshed out. Right before the show we washed up in the bathroom of a place called Grandy's. It was much safer than the Trucker Showers we saw advertisted on numerous billboards.
The show was great again. The crowd was more into it than the Tampa (st. Petersburgh) crowd was. These two girls though was hell-bent on pushing me out of the front row though. I spoiled it for them however due to the death grip I had on the wooden barrier. My kung fu is very strong. Shera was not there due to sickness. They said she was in the hospital with an infection. So go give Shera some get well soon wishes. This time I got the chocolate treatment from Sicily.
After the show I bought a T-shirt for a friend of mine that said she would rape my virgin ass with a catcus if I didn't get a shirt for her. I was afraid she would get upset that I got her an extra large, but she wasn't. I was starting to walk off and go find Pogo because the bouncer guy was screaming for everone to get out. Suddenly this fucking HUGE pissed off guy walks right up to my face and pointed at my Che Guevara shit. He asked if I was Cuban. I'm obviously not so I said "Yeah". Then he grilled me about Guevara and informed me that I had some nerve wearing that shirt and wanted to know what my fucking problem was and why I was "representing" Che, etc. etc. He used the word represent several times. He liked that word. Finally I managed to talk my way out of it. You have to use your wits when you weigh 120 lbs. I just apologized (this guy was HUGE) and said I guess I didn't realized what my shirt meant (even though I did know). He shook my hand and said thanks for being cool about it. The next day I told my dad about it and he called me a moron for wearing a Che Guevara shirt in Florida. Yeah well what can I say?
The drive back turned out to be an endurance contest that I could not win. I had 6 hours of sleep total for the last two days and I also didn't have much to eat. Plus it was raining very badly. About 200 miles later I started hallucinating. I kept seeing cars and overpasses that weren't there. I knew I was done for when I started seeing railroad crossings in the middle of the interstate. I pulled over and got Pogo to drive. Finally I made it home around 3 a.m. and was so tired I couldn't sleep. Now I am sick but feeling much better.
716 miles, two GREAT shows, two people pissed, lots of cough drops, sink shower, stupid movie, caught by two trains, pornographic picture, piece of shit truck, Pringles for dinner, picture of a gator's head that I'll post later, dead shark. Fucking priceless. I wouldn't trade this trip for anything.
Go see the SGB. These girls work hard,
DrG2K
I woke up Sat. with a very bad sore throat. I took a vitamin C tablet and drove to Matt's house where he was suprsingly dressed and ready to go.
About 20 miles into Florida we saw a sign for a 15 foot great white shark. We stopped but was informed that the shark died last the week before.
I have no C.D. player in my truck but the drive was not boring (we saw a sign that said Adult Toys and Great Food-we stopped and it turned out to be a closed restaurant)and quite nice until mile 289. It was then that my truck broke down by the interstate. It turned out to be the transmission. We had help pushing the truck across the highway to a machanic's shop. The head guy told us that if I left it there he would have to take my car keys. So instead of handing my keys to a total stranger, we finally got it started ourselves. Twenty miles later it shut off again. Bear in mind that Tampa was a mere 20 miles away and I was determined to make it to the show. Pogo checked the transmission fluid and made the assumption, that turned out to be correct, that we needed about 4 litres of fluid. So we Tom and Jerryed (walked) to the nearest gas station. On the way we saw a photo lying on the ground of a naked girl tied to a bed. You could see a tan pair of hairy legs in the background. The photo had an air of insincerity to it and looked staged. We also saw a smashed turtle, a victim of road rage no doubt.
Finally we got the truck going and hauled ass down the road; the truck looking as if it was on fire.
We checked in our hotel around 7, took a quick shower and headed to the club. Now I guess is a good time to mention that it was like an inferno in Fla. and I don't have A.C. in my truck, so I drove like a redneck with my shirt off. I now had a horrible sunburn from my shoulder down to my hand. Only my wrist was spared due to my watch.
The show: Jesus, where to start?
Goddamn it was so great. This is out of order and I know I won't cover the entire show but: Reagan and RavenIsis did a beautiful Goldfinger dance that had me yelling my already sore throat to new extremes of pain. Pearl and Nixon performed a funny and sexy retelling of The Graduate. RavenIsis later did a solo on a chair that made me wish I was better looking.
Sicily later hit me and Pogo on the head with a huge rubber ear during the Reservoir Dogs set. It was great. Later on she stabbed a teddy bear with a pair of scissors. You should have been there (and why weren't you there-something better to do?!).Reagan and Stormy did a great set together. Stormy is the sexiest plumber in the history of indoor plumbing. She also poured a bottle of chocolate sauce on my head. I don't want to give away the whole show so I'll move on to the pissed off girl. Oh I have to mention Pearl's hoola-hoop dance. My jaw hit the ground. It was fucking amazing. I could never master the art of the hoola hoop (she signed my poster "Hoop you enjoyed the show"-it took three days but I get it now!).
Okay. The pissed off girl. I was waiting to buy the poster I just mentioned. I finally bought it (after some dickhead that didn't have enough $$ to buy his shirt and was trying to bargain). Shera sold to to me and then signed it. As I was walking off some chick started pointing at me angrily and saying something that started with "That guy...." I'm still not sure what her damage was. I thought at first that she thought I didn't pay for my poster. Later in the hotel while I coudln't sleep, I came to the conclusion that maybe I broke in "line" or something. I'm going with that. It was okay because a mere seconds later I got Stormy to sign my poster. I have no social skills whatsoever so I gave her a Dane Cook C.D. and said something to the likes of "uh, you, uh said you wanted this so, uh....here." My awkwardness was soon forgotten as she gave a a huge hug. It was the greatest moment of my life. I later put $10 in the tip jar (the price of two posters).
After the show Pogo and I talked to Nick from Whole Wheat Bread. He was impressed at the distance we drove and I was impressed that back in Jan. we saw there first ever show together. He told us that he'd get put me and Pogo on a list to get in for free the next day. We both said thanks but didn't mention that I had already paid for our tickets in advance. THese guys are the shit. Buy thier album when it comes out. I command you!
Day One completed.
The next day we drove to Gainsville which was approximately 110 miles. We got there about 6 hours before the show. We got so bored walking around the mall that we went to the movies. Shear embarrassement will make me keep the movie of choice a secret. Suffice it to say that the protaginist's character was NOT fleshed out. Right before the show we washed up in the bathroom of a place called Grandy's. It was much safer than the Trucker Showers we saw advertisted on numerous billboards.
The show was great again. The crowd was more into it than the Tampa (st. Petersburgh) crowd was. These two girls though was hell-bent on pushing me out of the front row though. I spoiled it for them however due to the death grip I had on the wooden barrier. My kung fu is very strong. Shera was not there due to sickness. They said she was in the hospital with an infection. So go give Shera some get well soon wishes. This time I got the chocolate treatment from Sicily.
After the show I bought a T-shirt for a friend of mine that said she would rape my virgin ass with a catcus if I didn't get a shirt for her. I was afraid she would get upset that I got her an extra large, but she wasn't. I was starting to walk off and go find Pogo because the bouncer guy was screaming for everone to get out. Suddenly this fucking HUGE pissed off guy walks right up to my face and pointed at my Che Guevara shit. He asked if I was Cuban. I'm obviously not so I said "Yeah". Then he grilled me about Guevara and informed me that I had some nerve wearing that shirt and wanted to know what my fucking problem was and why I was "representing" Che, etc. etc. He used the word represent several times. He liked that word. Finally I managed to talk my way out of it. You have to use your wits when you weigh 120 lbs. I just apologized (this guy was HUGE) and said I guess I didn't realized what my shirt meant (even though I did know). He shook my hand and said thanks for being cool about it. The next day I told my dad about it and he called me a moron for wearing a Che Guevara shirt in Florida. Yeah well what can I say?
The drive back turned out to be an endurance contest that I could not win. I had 6 hours of sleep total for the last two days and I also didn't have much to eat. Plus it was raining very badly. About 200 miles later I started hallucinating. I kept seeing cars and overpasses that weren't there. I knew I was done for when I started seeing railroad crossings in the middle of the interstate. I pulled over and got Pogo to drive. Finally I made it home around 3 a.m. and was so tired I couldn't sleep. Now I am sick but feeling much better.
716 miles, two GREAT shows, two people pissed, lots of cough drops, sink shower, stupid movie, caught by two trains, pornographic picture, piece of shit truck, Pringles for dinner, picture of a gator's head that I'll post later, dead shark. Fucking priceless. I wouldn't trade this trip for anything.
Go see the SGB. These girls work hard,
DrG2K
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
your roadtrip sounds fun
That sounds like a great trip.
I haven't worked out the whole burlesque thing yet but I think they did a show in england. Which I figured out two weeks later. Story of my life...