and reading week comes to a close, and i am so so exhausted.
firday night was the lex/nic/shannon b-day bash. the pre gathering at heathers was fun fun and tashas vegan b-day cake was delicious, it also made for a yummy pre breakfast the next morning when i woke up with a grumbling tummy from too much drink the night before. we ended up at... Read More
you gotta go see LESBIANS on ESCTASY!!! if you've seen them at Juicy.....you know they rock! they usually come on around midnight for only a half hour anyways...so maybe you can do both.
work sucks. my thesis sucks even more. i came all the way back to hamilton and my assay kit did not arrive, so i came here for nothing. so now i have to come back thursday....grrrr.
i missed burlesque last night because i took a very late bus into teh city.
reading week is next week. i.can't.wait.
i need it a lot.
i'm going to toronto for the weekend cuz i have to work. then on sunday i head back to hamilton. i'm hoping to go to the fluff girls burleque show but i'm not sure if its a go or not, most of my friends are away for reading week, and going by myself just... Read More
i look over and wish for you to see me. expectations flutter around the room, angeled in your direction, searching for a home. you mutter something about need, desire and too much trust as i look away in disbelief.
"what are you thinking about?"
the weather. what do you think? i can't figure out how i find myself here in this room again,... Read More
i wish i wasn't falling apart as everyone around me is composed and getting to live a life on some sort of content path. not that it doesn't make me really happy to see people i love and care about happy, cuz it does, but because it further magnifies my own insecurities and overall feelings of shit.
i think i'm being consumed by something i'm... Read More
Retsin...I can sympathize with you. Two years ago I was at my worst emotionally, feeling like I had failed myself miserably for so many different reasons. I was stuck in my hometown finishing up my degree and constantly comparing myself to several of my friends who seemed to be succeeding in their pursuits. Like yourself, I wasn't resentful of their successes, but I resented the fact that for whatever reason, I couldn't live up to my own expectations and turn my life in the direction I wanted to steer it in.
Two years later, I am far more grounded than I ever have been in my entire life. I'm not saying that things are picture-perfect, the voices of self-doubt and anxiety still babble away, just not as loud as they used to. Getting the hell out of my home town certainly helped to propel me out of my stagnancy. Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that no matter how shit things seem now, you'll work them out. It may take a while, but if you want the change bad enough you can make it happen.
I didn't know what to make of it
I shone, mica-scaled, and unfolded
To pour myself out like a fluid
Among bird feet and the stems of plants
I wasn't fooled. I knew you at once.
yeah the love letter...
anytime...
you need...i have