rephrased

Saw the Decemberists on Saturday. What a kickass show! The sound guy sucked and kept screwing up their levels and making shrieky feedback. (But wait, that's not the kickass part!) When they came out for the encore, Colin walked up to the mic and said, "We're going to try something really stupid. Please kill the PA," and they shut off all the amps. Then they let into "Red Right Ankle" completely acoustic, and proceeded to play both encores with no sound amplification. There was a band playing in the lounge, and Colin's voice was barely audible, but I honestly think that no one in the entire crowd breathed or blinked for twenty minutes. It was perhaps the most arresting musical display I've ever seen. Afterwards, Carla gave me and Ben a ride home, giving me one of her cloves (the one with the burnt filter... thanks...) to smoke on the way. This was Ben's first time meeting Carla. His summary of her was, "She's cuter than I expected, but not as hot. And she completely misinterprets Ayn Rand." I found a quote the other day that sort of made me think about my relationship to Carla. Nick Cave quotes it in his lecture, "The Secret Life of the Love Song".
"The so-called traumatic experience is not an accident, but the opporunity for which the child has been patiently waiting. If it had not occurred, he would have found another, in order that his life should become a serious matter."
-W.H. Auden
I think that makes a lot of sense. The reason I like Carla is in order to give me a reason to hurt. If I hurt and I don't know why, it's my fault. Carla gives me something to be sad about, instead of just being sad because I am sad. She's an excuse. And when she leaves, I will find someone else unavailable to pine for. Any volunteers?