Dear Britney Spears,
I'm sorry, but this just isn't working out. Sure we had some good times, but it's just too much for me.
It started off ok. People thought it was funny that i carried your picture in my wallet and that i bought all of your calendars. People supported this relationship by recording your appearances on TV for me, but honestly, what happened?
I should have seen the signs, but I rationalized: "i don't have to like her, she's just hot!" But then there was that recording of you saying "retard" a lot, which i hate, but i chalked it up to your hillbilly roots. Then the marriage things and the wierd music videos and well...i guess the final straw was your vacant show of support for the president in that Moore movie. I don't mind if you like the president, it's that you looked like such a dumbass.
I'm sorry, but i just can't allow myself to be attracted to such a moron, even if she does have nice perky breasts, and sexy hips, and looks good in a schoolgirl outfit, and makes out with chicks, and...well, i digress. Listen, it's not you. It's...actually it is you. My brain is overiding my penis on this decision, so i can no longer find you appealing or attractive or even masturbatory material. Good luck with your future marriage(s).
Randy
PS do you have Christina Aguilera's phone number?
I'm sorry, but this just isn't working out. Sure we had some good times, but it's just too much for me.
It started off ok. People thought it was funny that i carried your picture in my wallet and that i bought all of your calendars. People supported this relationship by recording your appearances on TV for me, but honestly, what happened?
I should have seen the signs, but I rationalized: "i don't have to like her, she's just hot!" But then there was that recording of you saying "retard" a lot, which i hate, but i chalked it up to your hillbilly roots. Then the marriage things and the wierd music videos and well...i guess the final straw was your vacant show of support for the president in that Moore movie. I don't mind if you like the president, it's that you looked like such a dumbass.
I'm sorry, but i just can't allow myself to be attracted to such a moron, even if she does have nice perky breasts, and sexy hips, and looks good in a schoolgirl outfit, and makes out with chicks, and...well, i digress. Listen, it's not you. It's...actually it is you. My brain is overiding my penis on this decision, so i can no longer find you appealing or attractive or even masturbatory material. Good luck with your future marriage(s).
Randy
PS do you have Christina Aguilera's phone number?
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
danika:
What about Hillary Duff?
erikawithak:
randy, you're toxic
