so, since fatalconceit asked....
*how to bail someone out of jail*
1. at 8AM, interpret 4AM voicemail message and try to figure out where dumbass ex-bf is being held. decide that it is somewhere near new bedford.
2. call state police station in new bedford and learn that the state police station and jail are two different places.
3. call nearest jail to state police station in new bedford. make sure stupid ex-bf is still there. politely ask if bail has been set, how much it is, and a rough estimate of cost if it hasn't been set yet. ask what times the bail bondsman will be available.
4. drive to starbucks for morning coffee. then drive from salem to new bedford and think about what a great adventure this all is.
5. find jail in GHETTO in new bedford next to the projects. lock car doors and check for shady characters. note how scary barbed wire is on a jail wall up close in real life. think about how this is starting to not be a big fun adventure after all. walk up to front door and read sign that says that the place to post bail is at a different door. walk to a different door, ring buzzer, and listen to the little metal box tell you that the place to post bail is at yet another door. walk to a big metal garage door, ring another buzzer, and talk to another metal box. learn that bail is $40 cash. walk back to car and wait for bail bondsman to show up.
6. wait.
7. walk back to big metal door, ring buzzer again, and politely ask if there is a public restroom available. when told "no," politely ask how much longer it will be. walk back to car with legs pressed tightly together to keep bladder from exploding. curse starbucks and their tasty iced coffee.
8. wait some more.
9. watch car pull up. hope it's the bail bondsman. get out of car when he approaches. hand him $40 cash. get back in car. wait another 5 minutes for your stupid, stupid, stupid ass ex-bf to come out, get in the car, and tell you all about how he just totaled his 3-month-old $17k car, got a DUI and thankfully managed not to kill himself or anyone else in the process.
10. make the ex buy you breakfast. drive to mansfield to drop him off at his house. leave to drive back to salem.
11. stop taking ex's phone calls.
*how to bail someone out of jail*
1. at 8AM, interpret 4AM voicemail message and try to figure out where dumbass ex-bf is being held. decide that it is somewhere near new bedford.
2. call state police station in new bedford and learn that the state police station and jail are two different places.
3. call nearest jail to state police station in new bedford. make sure stupid ex-bf is still there. politely ask if bail has been set, how much it is, and a rough estimate of cost if it hasn't been set yet. ask what times the bail bondsman will be available.
4. drive to starbucks for morning coffee. then drive from salem to new bedford and think about what a great adventure this all is.
5. find jail in GHETTO in new bedford next to the projects. lock car doors and check for shady characters. note how scary barbed wire is on a jail wall up close in real life. think about how this is starting to not be a big fun adventure after all. walk up to front door and read sign that says that the place to post bail is at a different door. walk to a different door, ring buzzer, and listen to the little metal box tell you that the place to post bail is at yet another door. walk to a big metal garage door, ring another buzzer, and talk to another metal box. learn that bail is $40 cash. walk back to car and wait for bail bondsman to show up.
6. wait.
7. walk back to big metal door, ring buzzer again, and politely ask if there is a public restroom available. when told "no," politely ask how much longer it will be. walk back to car with legs pressed tightly together to keep bladder from exploding. curse starbucks and their tasty iced coffee.
8. wait some more.
9. watch car pull up. hope it's the bail bondsman. get out of car when he approaches. hand him $40 cash. get back in car. wait another 5 minutes for your stupid, stupid, stupid ass ex-bf to come out, get in the car, and tell you all about how he just totaled his 3-month-old $17k car, got a DUI and thankfully managed not to kill himself or anyone else in the process.
10. make the ex buy you breakfast. drive to mansfield to drop him off at his house. leave to drive back to salem.
11. stop taking ex's phone calls.
I hope you really have stopped taking his calls. You have earned some major points in my book for being that nice a person to bail his ass out of jail. Salem to New Bedford!
May I ask how he bought you breakfast when bail was only $40? Did he only have $20-$30 on him?
Ya know Rich is still single he seems like a step up now doesn't he?