Saturday Apr 10, 2004

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OK, big changes time. I want to end this month or next with a new job, new apartment and at least a date.

Wish me luck in this turn of stupid blind optimism.
holden_caulfield:
You are invited to join my new group, "Liberal Politics". Please spread the word. Thanks.

Sunday Feb 22, 2004

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Sometimes.

Sometimes the hours just ache, and the thought of my life streching out ahead of me feels like an unbearable burden. Sometimes I wake from my dreams of the past and I just want to weep.

Sometimes I laugh out loud from this feeling of joyous exuberance that bubbles up from deep inside me. I walk throught the day with a silly grin stuck...
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anemotis:
Having other people to share those feelings with seems to take the edge off for me. But even if it didn't, I'd rather not be numb.

Tuesday Feb 10, 2004

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OK, I admit it, I'm probably too old to be making out with 21 year olds at parties.

But dammit, pour a gallon of beer in me, drag me off the dance floor by my borrowed tie to a deck overlooking the Pacific and jump on top of me and I feel like I have a bit of an excuse.

I just wanted to explain...
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glamerdork:
you're never too old to be making out with 21 year olds at parties. I plan on whoring myself out to all the 21 year old boys and girls when I'm 102. wink

Friday Jan 30, 2004

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I love hearing the police copters circling my neighborhood at night, I really do. It's an oddly peaceful sound. Especially when you are curled up in bed and they are a few blocks away. The sound getting louder and then softer as they get closer and then farther away over and over again, the noise rising and falling like waves crashing in the distance.

It...
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erin:
you're exactly right about what you posted in my journal.

before i moved out I had this idea in my head of what it would be like to have my own place in the city. it was like waking up on a rainy day and hearing the cars zip through the water. the place was bare and the sheets were dirty and strung about and there was one window in the room.

then one day it was deja-vu and i realized i was happy. in my shabby place on a rainy day. wink

then i shot the moody set.
anemotis:
It should really be an impossible colour, a colour not of this world. Indigo evokes that for me, perhaps because Newton added it to the named spectrum as a magical seventh colour. Also, the original indigo dye was toxic (a mutagen).

Sunday Jan 25, 2004

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I am sooooo smooth.

I went through 10 cigerettes and four cups of coffee over 2 hours last night before finally figuring out how to approach this cute girl who kept staring at me at this cofee place last night.

And then she left before I could get her number.

In short: me=ladykillah
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kayla_:
beautiful lyrics from a beautiful song smile

You moved from NJ to CA too?
heh

weird transition ain't it?

Thank you for the kind words, they are very appreciated
kayla_:
I don't miss the snow thats for god damn sure.

Monday Jan 12, 2004

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So what is getting older all about anyway?

I used to think it's about getting wiser and understanding the world better. But if that's it then I'm not doing so well at it. Am I wiser now then when I was in my early twenties? I don't think so. I have more knowledge sure, but how much of it is just esoteric crap? Does it...
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shal:
Wisdom = learning enough from your mistakes to not repeat them. wink

As for getting to know yourself and your place in the world... you and the world around you are constantly changing. There is no way you can ever truly "know" yourself or your place, in my opinion. I think being aware of and open to change and recognizing change within yourself is part of wisdom...

Bah.. okay, enough psuedophilosophy for now.

Saturday Jan 10, 2004

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Ok, so this is an annoying fucked up situation and I am going to rant about it, but briefly I promise.

So the crux of it is that my ex-girlfriend (whom I have a ton of mutual friends with) is annoyed because she feels like she can't bring her new boyfriend out to social situations with our mutual friends because if she is bringing him...
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user09824097240:
falling off the wagon is all too easy to do. i hate it. but hopefully some day people like us can learn to cope with our ADD and when that day comes i'm going to....do everything that i planned to do that day...lol shocked

Friday Jan 02, 2004

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Hello.
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erin:
oh shit that's so crazy. all this time i've been zooming with apple+- and i never stumbled on it.

what other crazy shit do you know?
user09824097240:
hello to you too. so how often do you do yoga?

Wednesday Nov 12, 2003

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Odd dream I had last night.

I was standing on my fire escape, smoking. It was very late at night it seemed and everything was still. I could see myself, my view seemed to be a bit below head level, a few feet back from myself, but very wide angle, looking down past myself at the city spread out below me. I stood there for...
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a35mmlife:
its much easier when you dont have to participate...

smile
xtx:
That's the most awesome dream I've ever heard in my life. BTW, check it.

Sunday Nov 09, 2003

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OK. So tough desicions were made, crappy talks had. Distance acheived. Now on with the rest of my life.

So yeah, about that...

I really need to get my ass in gear and get writing. Bad screenplays don't just write themselves! However I seem to accomplish very little writing at home, it feels like I spend all my time there waiting for something to happen....
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glamerdork:
I'm glad you're in a good mood. Even though I don't know you. Yes, bad screen plays don't just write themselves. For some reason, I have this odd faith in you. Odd... since I've never met you before in my life. But there is something about your personality that shines through in the few entries I've read. Hey- you just have to get yourself motivated. I'd love to read some stuff you've written- i mean, screenplays and the like. -- I bet you waste lots of time on this site-- right? -- take half of that time and go get something down on paper. And then let me know how it feels to be motivated-- maybe I'll get inspired to use my brain as well.
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