Today was a day of polar extremes.
I went from my personal lesson where I basically engaged in a mildly constructive bitchfest with my teacher about what the hell's the point in being a musician. It seems like all work and very elusive reward. Not only that, but it's hard not to notice the fact that it costs far less to buy a CD, or hire a DJ, than it is to have real live music.
Then...in large ensemble I had an open solo break in Caravan at the climax of the song. It was right at the end of class and we were working on the section right before it; finally the teacher signaled to end the loop and go on to the next section. It was kind of a zen moment, or some sort of raw encounter with Serendipity: something happened and it finally, finally, worked for me. It didn't just fit, or was mildly impressive but lost the time, but it was actually cool. Or, hip, as they say (and sometimes we roll our eyes in response). I was signaled to stop, because apparently it was at the end of the class, whereupon one senior student remarked "aww, that was pretty cool." And the teacher's reply -- this from a guy I desperately seek approval from, but don't work hard enough to get it regularly -- "yeah, that was cool, but class is over."
Ah well, a significant moment nonetheless. It might actually be fortunate I hadn't the opportunity to try and finish the solo because who knows what might have happened. Go out while you're on top, eh?
And now I've got Coltrane on. Shweet. It's not my traditional idea of "motivated" but it's about as close as I come.
I went from my personal lesson where I basically engaged in a mildly constructive bitchfest with my teacher about what the hell's the point in being a musician. It seems like all work and very elusive reward. Not only that, but it's hard not to notice the fact that it costs far less to buy a CD, or hire a DJ, than it is to have real live music.
Then...in large ensemble I had an open solo break in Caravan at the climax of the song. It was right at the end of class and we were working on the section right before it; finally the teacher signaled to end the loop and go on to the next section. It was kind of a zen moment, or some sort of raw encounter with Serendipity: something happened and it finally, finally, worked for me. It didn't just fit, or was mildly impressive but lost the time, but it was actually cool. Or, hip, as they say (and sometimes we roll our eyes in response). I was signaled to stop, because apparently it was at the end of the class, whereupon one senior student remarked "aww, that was pretty cool." And the teacher's reply -- this from a guy I desperately seek approval from, but don't work hard enough to get it regularly -- "yeah, that was cool, but class is over."
Ah well, a significant moment nonetheless. It might actually be fortunate I hadn't the opportunity to try and finish the solo because who knows what might have happened. Go out while you're on top, eh?
And now I've got Coltrane on. Shweet. It's not my traditional idea of "motivated" but it's about as close as I come.
fenris23:
Cool.