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realistic67

Vancouver

Member Since 2005

Followers 40 Following 52

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Saturday Jun 16, 2007

Jun 15, 2007
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Birthday-Burlesque- And The Jennifer Jason Lee Affect

So, it was the big 4-0 recently as of Thursday. The Crew bought me a bottle of Le Jimadora ( The only imported Tequila really worth a swig of salt and lime in Canada ) And we went with Tequila in hand to a punk burlesque show down at the Cobalt. Which, oddly, had a dress code originally in effect. Finding this out reminded me of Captain Willard's Famous line from Apocalypse Now, " Like Handing Out Speeding Tickets At The Indy 500 " So I pointed out we were part of the Gypsy crew in town and played the we're Burlesque royalty line. And in we got. Only to find out that dress code had been chucked at the door way before our arrival. Which was fortunate, cause it scared off a few of the actor and crew types who really are a bunch of pansies

The Cobalt is as seriously low rent as classic Vancouver dive punk bars can get. It's sort of west coast inspired CBGB's decor. Poster laden, spray painted walls. Sticky rubber matting. An odd mix of broken furniture and ode due Sweat fragrance. Hiada natives hanging out in the corners carving mini-totems for free beers is the only real west-coast nod. It's the kind of place where you buy only bottle beers if your smart. As the taps have that never been cleaned look since the place was a strip bar in 88. As bottles present a harder climbing skill level for the bars cockroaches. Heineken's also provide you with a handy weapon if the bouncer happens to be out for a smoke. ( which almost came to pass. I was people watching - checking out some of the Audience lovelies and one guy took offense. Which was quite bizarre cause he wasn't even one of the girls escorts which I was scoping. But, every Skinhead I've ever met in Vancouver has a high level of White Knight psychosis. I pulled out the " Sorry I though she was my old friend. _______ routine and he faded away. )

The Burlesque girls where hot in that Tattooed freak Awkward Beauty way that always appeals to me when I'm feeling the hero myself. And the show, which started and hour before our show Gypsy, came down, was fun in that, " Hey we've been doing lots of recreational drugs while ditching college art history classes. LET'S PUT ON A SECOND RATE BURLESQUE SHOW!!!!"

All the standards were in the line up. The Catholic School girls and they're extra randy Head mistress Singing that ditty " Hymens Are A Girls Best Friend" while stripping. A Jail house Rock Theme, The classic fan dance by this lovely girl who had the best anaconda snake down the thigh tattoo. And then always fun attack the MC and strip him past his skivvies. Followed by a truth or dare game show with a few of the amateur audience talent, that wanted to get cheered on to expose their naughty bits and play "hot dog buns" if you understand what that means. Basically, my birthday from the start of my shift on Gypsy was 80 percent stripping and pastie twirl fun.

Not bad for a 40th birthday. At least I didn't go to the local bar and whine about entering my Russian Mail Order Bride Decade. And it looks I have a new Fast-cupid friend from the Boston area. Which is a hopeful sign that hot Jennifer Jason Lee type girls are out there are still hoping to connect on various levels with me.

And I finalized my Birthday Tattoo, and made an appointment date with an inked friend to source out an artist. As I want to go with someone to an artist who can ask the questions I wouldn't think of, involving tattoos. Without any " Your Idea Sucks" attitude. Which is something my brother always has every time I think I've finalized a design.

Time for summer.....



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