Dream / Memory
I dreamt I kissed her.... like I've dreampt I've kissed her before
It was as if I kissed her then. As I did all those years ago.
I hate the way she treated me. Cheated, lied, returned, promissing to stay only to cheat and lie again. And once again after all that. ( The second and third times I know now where really just my stupidity in attempting to trust her after the first. But, that's really what love does...at length it can make you stupid.) Six years of stupidity and pain now maybe 8 years past.
And I went through all the extremes and back again throughout those years. Pined for her, missed her, hated her, forgave and hated again. I cheated on her memory in abstencia. And, two years ago almost without realising it when we hooked up on one of her little sex vacations away from her poor suffering husband. I revenged my loss of my manhood against her, and rellished in that showing her up, after her husband read my then on line diary about our escapades. ( I feel for him because I almost was him...And I'm glad he knows the truth and will never let me see her again. ) But, it was all worth it, making her new married life with him just that little bit more honest by the force of her desire to chaet as always, and my last feelings of lust.
That revenge, I cannot deny was so worth every moment. And, two years since, most days I don't care much at all anymore.
But, something in my heart still loves that moment of kissing her. Thinking back, I love my eagerness in the moment. My desire on full display. And in my dream she willingly takes my kiss. As if we were still lovers back at the very begining, before all the lies out stripped the trust. And the greatest thing is I laid there after the dream smiling on the memory replayed unconsiously. I just let myself enjoy that feeling again, of pressing my lips against hers.
Reclaiming memory. Through a dream.....
I dreamt I kissed her.... like I've dreampt I've kissed her before
It was as if I kissed her then. As I did all those years ago.
I hate the way she treated me. Cheated, lied, returned, promissing to stay only to cheat and lie again. And once again after all that. ( The second and third times I know now where really just my stupidity in attempting to trust her after the first. But, that's really what love does...at length it can make you stupid.) Six years of stupidity and pain now maybe 8 years past.
And I went through all the extremes and back again throughout those years. Pined for her, missed her, hated her, forgave and hated again. I cheated on her memory in abstencia. And, two years ago almost without realising it when we hooked up on one of her little sex vacations away from her poor suffering husband. I revenged my loss of my manhood against her, and rellished in that showing her up, after her husband read my then on line diary about our escapades. ( I feel for him because I almost was him...And I'm glad he knows the truth and will never let me see her again. ) But, it was all worth it, making her new married life with him just that little bit more honest by the force of her desire to chaet as always, and my last feelings of lust.
That revenge, I cannot deny was so worth every moment. And, two years since, most days I don't care much at all anymore.
But, something in my heart still loves that moment of kissing her. Thinking back, I love my eagerness in the moment. My desire on full display. And in my dream she willingly takes my kiss. As if we were still lovers back at the very begining, before all the lies out stripped the trust. And the greatest thing is I laid there after the dream smiling on the memory replayed unconsiously. I just let myself enjoy that feeling again, of pressing my lips against hers.
Reclaiming memory. Through a dream.....