raydancer

If anyone reading this is a Cingular customer, there's a fair chance you've spoken to a disinterested me once or twice. About yor bill, your phone, and how charging you on either one is a good way to get my telephone ass kicked by managers nationwide.

You might have called me an asshole. Or unpatriotic. Or even uttered a slur against mine and others' ethnic backgrounds while still remaining a valued customer and human being. Oh, we've had talks and talks.

Most of these talks end with my condescending reminders to pay your fucking bill in spite of all your hardships and teenage daughters. So, here's a FEW little reminderS for tomorrow. It's not a bill, so keep your eyes peeled for inaccuracies before calling in and screaming for the company President to fire me.



YOU ONLY GET CREDIT IF WE FUCKED UP OR MISINFORMED YOU

HIDDEN FEES ARE PART OF THE DEAL

FOUR HUNDRED DOLLAR PHONES ARE NOT FUCKING FREE

I HAVE PHOTOCOPIES OF YOUR SIGNED CONTRACT AT MY FINGERTIPS

STANDARD FEES ARE FUCKING STANDARD

YOUR PHONE IS NOT AN INTERNET

and...


PAY YOUR GOD DAMNED BILL

Thanks for calling Cingular Wireless, we do value your business. Have a great weekend.