raulbnuttz

So, my girlfriend's on the site now.

I can barely type this shit cuz I'm laughing so hard!


So, here's the dirt!

Everything there is to know about me, this chick knows. She's had all the dirt on me from day one. So all you bastards that need to get some info for your blackmail on me ... Ducky's your girl.

We've got this retarded painfullly open relationship where I say pretty much whatever's on my mind. (which usually ends up in an arguement because I'm too honest. {Read : Fuckin' moron who can't hold his tongue on unimportant shit} Luckily, after these frequent "bitch-outs", I've got a girl who realizes that as big a dick-head her man is, he only tells her all this shit (that would break up a "normal" relationship) because in my eyes, a true friend should know most of your dirty shit; but your girl should fuckin' be the first person your mom calls when she happens upon your mug shot while waiting in line at the post office, ya' know?

So, she gets on the site without my knowledge and starts snoopin' through my shit (which I wholeheartly encourage [and frankly, think is kinda cute]) She doesn't even make it through my profile before alarms start going off in her head. Look under current crush and I'm sure you'll totally see where she's coming from. -I apologize in advance to the "other party" I've involved without her consent- So, of course I'm not at home to call and question, (yeah, I was at a club, fuck you! It turned out to be gay night and I wasn't pussy-hunting you bastards! ) So a state of urgency begins to set in. Thus begins the IM's. Now, the best part is that I didn't sleep in my bed that night.

I just though about this, but why the fuck am I telling you all this shit?!?!?
Thought complete ... anyways ...

So, I usually sign on before going to sleep. ('Puter's right by the bed. {Read : Lazy as fuck} But Fang and I had houseguests, so I slept on the couch like a good lil' slave. (I'm sorry, I know I just set the race back, but I couldn't help it. I'm sorry, ninjas. Dammit ... that probably didn't help any did it? Anyways, the girlie-girl wanted me to call when I got her message to talk some things through. Well, I never got the message.

Now, the last couple of weeks ... fuck ... years really, I've been (and I know you fuckers are gonna hate this one) decidedly male. Not that I'm all about breaking hearts or being "the man" with the ladies ... it's just ... well basically me not coping well with being in a relationship where the partners aren't in the same space, ya' know.






Pause for affect.






So, ... anyways, I awake early the next morning and give her a call in a strangely super-happy mode. Strange only because the last day or two I've been in this relationship terminating funk, so to speak. Passive-aggresively sabotaging our own happiness. So, I'm sure hearing that message of me bright-eyed and bushy-tailed this morning after she had asked to have a ligitimate conversation with me freaked her out even more. For the outcome of that conversation (if you haven't already) go check her shit out.

For the record, I had already told her about the Prez, but failed to express just how smitten I am for her. In a relationship where the trust for a young man has been broken as many times as mine has, seeing that in type and having not heard it from my lips had to have been a kick in the nuts. So to speak. I can only say that neither have done anything to warrent such behavior/feelings on my part. I'm just going to own up to being the dick in this equation. Hey you are what you eat ... no, wait ... [Insert cheap, over-used, tired joke in an effort to keep all those still reading from feeling sorry for you and maybe to get a chuckle out of a few, here]

Oh yeah, and to those of you who think I wrote this to clear my name and to get the girlfriend to think honerably about my actions, FUCK YOU! (You do what you gotta do, right?)

My favorite journal entries have involved serious self-exploration on behalf of the writer. I've always wondered if I'd ever have anything that personal to write about. Thanks for showing me how it's done you precious few. Damn, I suddonly feel as though I should be accepting an award. A girl can dream ...

Well, fuck ... we've just been through some serious soul searching together and learned a lot about ... ME!! Thank you for giving me a vehicle to "throw up on stage".