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ratsonjulia

Lake Woebegone

Member Since 2002

Followers 16 Following 8

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Wednesday Nov 13, 2002

Nov 12, 2002
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last night there was a bit of an incident at the prison, which I'll try & relate as it unspooled for me:

I was posted in a C.P., or Command Post, which is a little nest of concrete, steel bars & plexi-glass overlooking one of the exercise yards & one of the chow-halls. my job is pretty much to pop open doors & provide gun coverage. I was pleased with the post because I'd smuggled in a good book, yet somewhat unhappy because I'd neglected to pack coffee.

at about 11 or so two of the nurses went to the Housing Unit that I'd been posted at last night. I steno'd (intercommed) over to let them know that Medical was at the door.

a few minutes later one of the golf-carts pulled up with a lieutenant & a few members of Squad & went into the unit.

I read a few more chapters of my book.

officers came back out & loaded back into the golf-cart. on the radio: "5 J-1's"--officers--"Medical & 1 J-3" --inmate--"in full restraints, enroute from Unit 5 to the infirmary."

after about 20 minutes an officer with a video camera scurried across the yard towards the infirmary (any incident involving force or injury is videotaped, in case of lawsuit or liability)

after about an hour one of the nurse trudged back with two red plastic "bio-hazard" bags--blood-spill kits.

it wasn't until the Sergeant came to unlock me that I found out what happened--one of the inmates had jammed a pen into his arm, opened an artery & painted the inside of his cell.

not much else happened.

----

usually, when I come home, the sunrise is about an hour away. I'll listen to NPR on the drive home & pick up a quart of beer on the way (have to shuck off the shirt, tho--buying beer in uniform is verboten). come in, turn the heat up, put any perishables from my lunchbox I didn't eat into the fridge. flip on NPR (I've been trying to learn guitar & bought a metal music stand that serves double-duty as a propper-upper for whatever "Teach-Yourself!!!" book I'm using in the evening & auxilliary antennae for the little stub on my boom-box in the morning)--check to see if the kitties have food.

click on the computer. connect. open the beer. light a cigarette.

I have 2 email accounts that I check usually every day or two--in the past few weeks I've been getting between 75 & 175 spams A DAY in each one, most of them concerned with my finances or the size of my penis.

I got to thinking--it's kind of annoying to come home & find over a hundred spam messages about my penis on my computer, but it's a lot better than coming home & finding over a hundred raccoons in my house.

because that's a lot of raccoons. & what would I do? hire a piper to play soothing, magical tunes on his magical raccoon-flute & lead them away into the desert?

& then I thought: no wonder everybody thinks I'm on a lot of interesting drugs.

---

my Yahoo horoscope for today:
Cancer

Horoscope (by Astrocenter.com)
There is a great deal of passion and creativity to the day today, dear Cancer, that you should tap into to give you strength and peace of mind. Let go of your inhibitions and self-doubt. If you constantly fail to act the way you want to because you are afraid of what other people will think, you will never be living your true destiny. Express the passionate, sensitive being that you are to everyone around.

--I'm kinda pondering how I will express my "passionate, sensitive being" when I go to the grocery store....
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
takeshi21:
I agree. These stories are great.
Nov 13, 2002
orchid1:
I really like these stories too because I never expect the endings! The racoon thing makes so much sense!
I was driving with my Dad and my sister and the car was full of branches and tree bits and so on. We were going to the mulch drop point. And my sister is saying how its so crowded in the back and my Dad says Imagine how much more crowded it'd be if there were 1000 hamsters in here too. And so I say, no I'll bet more than a thousand could fit...and we calculate the average hamster size and the interior space of the car...some where just over 300,000 hamsters could fit. We also added up how many could fit under the seats, in the glove box, etc.
Thats alot of hamsters. We preferred not to think about the hamsters on the bottom of the stack...
Nov 13, 2002

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