ratedpg

I'm not all that eloquent lately, so here's a list of thngs that have happened since the beginning of 2007. Some positive, some negative.

Since the beginning of 2007, I've...
learned more about myself
left SG
returned to SG
picked up new contracts
advanced my Photoshop skills
loved and hated with equal passion. Sometimes the same people, sometimes for the same reasons.
fallen in love
fallen in lust
felt the urge to eliminate myself from this life
resisted said urge
gotten a new nephew
eaten tofu for the first time
made new friends
resurrected old, bad habits
broken good habits
lost weight
had a breakdown
gotten a raise
and so much more...

Those are all the things that come to mind just now. I've also been realizing a lot lately. Like how I fit into thelives of other people. It's not something I ever gave much thought to before, and now I'm seeing some thngs a lot differently than I did. It's odd enough we don't always where we are in our lives, but it's humbling when we realize we don't see where we are others'.

I've also realized that this school and work lifestyle will not last. I don't know that I can survive this semester. A combination of stress, fatigue and depression are making me irrational and lethargic, which leads to incomplete work, high absenteeism, paranoia, anxiety and a handful fo other nifty side effects. It's only 2 more months, but it's not even been 2 months so far and I'm already at this point. Maybe work will cut one of my shifts. That would give me more time for schoolwork and resting. Then All I have to worry about is how to pay the bills with such a tiny paycheque.

Some days, I wish I could afford to disappear.