ratedpg

Can someone tell me what in the sphincter o' hell I'm supposed to do about this?

EDIT:

So that sentence was written last night post anxiety-attack, and pre-bed. I wasn't really expecting so much outpoured interest (but thank you for it), so I'll elaborate now.

My life has, overall, taken a HUGE turn for the better lately. I finally started making decisions, and moving forward with things I should have done ages ago. This is good. But there's one VERY important part of my life that I'm not sure about. I don't know if I'm causing it (albeit indirectly), or if it's just a result of recent events (which is the safer bet, I think), but I feel like I'm reaching out, and hitting my hands on something that wont let me reach any farther.So I wonder what's going on, and if I can fix it. I hate not knowing. I have a very strong compulsion to fix things around me when they involve people I care about. But I also need to have faith. I REALLY need to shake this insecurity thing.

It could be paranoia/insecurity, I don't know. Actually, that's not true. I'm pretty sure it is. Right now, I'm on my way to being happy, this much I know. A kind of happy I haven't experienced in 10, maybe 15 years. I want to take EVERYONE with me to happy-place. I won't leave anyone behind.