Thursday Nov 17, 2005

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today i pictured myself standing on top of the city.

and seeing freedom. passion fueling drive. and falling...

i tried it once. i sometimes wonder if she remembers it the way i do. so close to finale, and then to have my soul crumble in someone elses arms.

i can never forget that feeling.

and such a strange way to be. for all my love...
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VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
marieceleste:
Your invaluable self lasts throughout, nothing can sully you.
someoneuk:
Maybe it's more fun with the box open? confused

Monday Nov 14, 2005

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right. let's get the mundane aspects of my life out the way for those of you that read my journal as long distance friends and wonder what i do day to day:

i went to the SGUK meet on sat, but first met up with snowballinhell and sunfeather. snowball if such a lovely lady. i didn't get to talk to sun very much.

and...
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VIEW 26 of 26 COMMENTS
someoneuk:
eeks, chipping a tooth can't be good. was minimal fun when I chipped mine a while back. Need to go back to them about that.

Yeah things are looking good, get somewhere to live in town, and my first pay packets, and things will be great. Excitingly it seems that if I want to go to London for a weekend, I may be able to come down on a thursday night and work from the London office on the friday, just next to Angel tube.

I don't think kibagirl had a good day. She's currently on a virgin train near chichester with all the electric and lights turned off. frown

I'm not thin at all.
ldwarren:
That made me sit up.

Wednesday Nov 09, 2005

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My latest (academic) interest is tourism.

When in Cambodia, my tuk tuk driver once stopped on the road from Preah Khan to Siem Reap so that I would be able to join in the mass of tourists photographing the Cambodians who were rice farming. The scene was indeed postcard picturesque...but I couldn't join in the activity.

Then, I understood my reluctance to be about the...
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VIEW 25 of 34 COMMENTS
chainlink:
Nope I have not been to Angkor Wat. I have of course marveled at pictures of thier stone carvings and would love to visit someday. That IS a fantastic picture. Is that a lingam framed in the doorways way back there ?
Yes, my trip to Kenya will be all "Holiday" but it is going to be a bit of father son bonding. Hopefully it will be great. I expect so. But I also expect it could easily be more work than any business trip ever dreamed to be. I am really glad to have these opportunities to do things with my dad before either of us are too old to remember them.
sunfeather:
I know: I noticed how anaphalaxis seemed very nonchalant about having his photo taken compared to a lot of other people - maybe he knows how good he looks in pictures!
biggrin

It was good to meet you - I'm sorry we didn't really get a chance to talk. Also sorry that there wasn't time for tarot - but then circumstances were not exactly conducive. I actually had the cards with me in my coat pocket and, when I came to pack up on Sunday morning, realised most of them were missing. I think they probably fell out when my coat was on the floor in the Ship getting covered in beer... Shame, but it wasn't my favourite pack. Don't tell Noir, who sold them to me...

[Edited on Nov 14, 2005 7:50AM]

Tuesday Nov 08, 2005

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yes, yes. i am only joking...

you know, i write a few serious journal entries and now you all think i've gone emo.

pants to that.
VIEW 21 of 21 COMMENTS
sunfeather:
Ha ha.
I was feeling the same thing, so put a funny link in my latest post...
cklarock:
Tricksy rainwolfkin.

Sunday Nov 06, 2005

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i've been seeing my current therapist for nearly a year now.

now you might be thinking, 'rainwolfkin, why would you need to see a therapist?' and there may very well be a multitude of answers to that question, but i'm not going to go into them here.

my real reason for bringing up this aspect of my life is because these sessions can be quite...
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VIEW 18 of 18 COMMENTS
cklarock:
Have you asked him yet what his motivations are?
kayliane:
i'd love to go to therapy- not that I think anything in particular needs to addressed but that it would be wonderful to have a completely neutral stranger who is forced to listen to me and offer replies. I think I would love that.

though I don't know about the free thing either, love, sounds kinda creepy...please tell me you're joking about borrowing his car...
kiss kiss kiss

Tuesday Nov 01, 2005

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how does one battle it all without letting their head go under?

i've been here before and i know exactly where my head had gone.

hearts are falling in love. hearts are breaking. and far away - in my own backyard - hearts are having attacks and bodies are collapsing.

you can't ask someone to cry. you can't implore them to feel.

you can watch...
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VIEW 17 of 17 COMMENTS
mro:
Are you sure that's a firework display going off outside your house and not another riot....?

It was lovely to meet you at last and I had a great day. Thanks for taking the time off to grab a few drinkies. I hope we can do it again some time.

Take care hon

kiss kiss
happycherries:
God.
chills that gave me chills.

Saturday Oct 29, 2005

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slavewire mentioned Tetsuo to me a few weeks ago and we finally got around to watching it together. He suggested that i would like it, not only for the industrial soundtrack and feel, but also for the pure originality of it.

It runs for 67 minutes. and it is non-stop action. this is not hollywood action where arnie saves the day by blowing up 10...
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VIEW 22 of 22 COMMENTS
littleaardvark:
I was about to say that film sounds Japanese from your description.... sounds like SomeOneUK's sort of film.

Thanks for the compliments on the cow.

I try not to think about things too much most of the time. Otherwise I tear myself up with worry. But thanks for the kind words!
kinto:
Hey hey

Nice to see you the other day - sorry I had to run not to miss the fast train...!

I was wondering: would you like to be the new group owner for "The Loss of Innocence"? If yes, let me know & I'll contact the admin peeps who change that. I would like this group to live even if I'm not around, as I think it could help people, maybe smile

Anyway, see you on the 12th if you're around

kiss

Friday Oct 21, 2005

0
empty

she screams at the top of her lungs: i'm whole i'm body i'm heart i'm mind i'm soul

____________________________________________

i stopped being an artist a long time ago.

i don't think it was because i didn't have anything to say. i think it was because i realized that you didn't care. sometimes you pretended to, but like many things that you revealed to me,...
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VIEW 25 of 33 COMMENTS
cyberedz:
Hello again

Sorry to hear of your woe - maybees another wee trip to Asia would revitalise your spirits...

In answer to your question, I went to Thailand, Cambodia and Viet Nam, though spent most of my time in Cambodia (and managed to get by without the Tuk Tuk driver's number you said you'd send me wink ). My pal Selene has just settled in Nha Trang, so was planning to spend some time with her to see what it's like, but I've little doubt I will settle in SE Asia for a few years at least. Maybe buy a bar somewhere, or teach English. The great advantage of being made redundant and getting a divorce is a big increase in 'options' biggrin
creamygoodness:
Hello, it was lovely meeting you too, you seem jolly nice and, well, y'know, the 'hot girl' thing always helps too tongue

Only slightly creepy? Quite obviously I'm not trying hard enough, I think I'm mellowing out in my old age. And don't worry about weird journal entries, I once wrote an entry containing a letter in which I broke up with my own penis. Everyone has their weird patches wink

Tuesday Oct 18, 2005

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empty

she screams at the top of her lungs: i'm whole i'm body i'm heart i'm mind i'm soul

____________________________________________

i stopped being an artist a long time ago.

i don't think it was because i didn't have anything to say. i think it was because i realized that you didn't care. sometimes you pretended to, but like many things that you revealed to me,...
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VIEW 19 of 19 COMMENTS
someoneuk:
smile sometimes it's good to scream.
perdy:
Yes....yes you're right, big fuck off guns would make me feel a whole lot better, big, leaving your shoulder black and blue guns, the ones that take grit and determination to just stay on your feet while you fire them.

Friday Oct 14, 2005

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erased
VIEW 26 of 26 COMMENTS
leola:
I completely love your shoulder xxxx
yeoman:
thanks for the wee note! the tattoo convention sure was busy! so much fun though! wink

ps, lovely profile pic!

[Edited on Oct 18, 2005 8:54PM]
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