raen

totally overslept this morning. so much for my workout and the african drumming class. I was just starting to get into that too. oh well. i'm trying to squeeze a lot of things into my life right now, because i may be leaving cali for good. i'm an east coaster (though I don't identify with new england as much), and i've been here almost 4 years now. so this is about the time i expected to move back and be closer to family and friends over there. except i feel like i've invested soooo much of myself here just to get into photography and i have not seen any tangible rewards. this place has so much to offer if i could afford a comfortable lifestyle. that is different things to different people, but even if you aren't too demanding... when you pay$800 a month for rent, maybe $500 for food and you are not making shit, SF is pretty oppressive. it's like someone has their boot on your neck. this is all magnified of course by the fact photography is just expensive as hell.

so i told myself a little while ago if i could get two good clients before i leave here for my mom's in october i could justify coming back (i plan to spend oct. w/my fam and then work as an assistant in miami until april). otherwise i need to be selling my shit and really figuring some things out here. i would definitely have to get rid of a lot non-essential stuff i 've accumulated that i really don't want to get rid of. it seems so much easier to just leave my stuff in storage and plan on coming back, but last time it took me 4 months to find a good place to move into. now i am finally feeling settled in my house and i have to move again (it is being sold). blah, blah, blah. poor me. someone please give me money. at least the website will be complete soon, then maybe somebody will.