I wish my mind had an off switch sometimes. I lay awake at night and can't stop thinking.
This is mostly in reference to my ex. I don't know how to classify how I feel, nor do I know how to explain why I still feel that way. Even when I have new prospects on the horizon, my thoughts are dominated by chili. I am wholey still in love with him, my heart belongs solely to him.
It's a scary thought, but I think that I would go back to him always. It could be my wedding day, or he could have done something terrible to me... anything, and I truly truly believe I would joyfully return to him. I don't know if this is a feeling that I will get over. I don't know if it's a healthy feeling, or if it speaks poorly of my self-esteem.
He sculpts my mind and my indirectly leads me toward who I am supposed to become. I cherish his opinion and I strive to not let him down.
I came to Ohio as a springboard to my future. I came here to better myself in many ways, so that when I return to California I can be the type of woman that is worthy of him. I should focus on that, instead of on my selfish need to speak to him daily, but I fear that if we stop having conversations, he will meet somebody and I will be a distant memory. I probably shouldn't care so much.
I am fearfully anticipating comments like "You are worthy already" or something of the sort. Because I am not. I have explained it before, or attempted, and I have difficulty putting it into words. But I have a goal. And I am not there yet.
Song, NOT video.
This is mostly in reference to my ex. I don't know how to classify how I feel, nor do I know how to explain why I still feel that way. Even when I have new prospects on the horizon, my thoughts are dominated by chili. I am wholey still in love with him, my heart belongs solely to him.
It's a scary thought, but I think that I would go back to him always. It could be my wedding day, or he could have done something terrible to me... anything, and I truly truly believe I would joyfully return to him. I don't know if this is a feeling that I will get over. I don't know if it's a healthy feeling, or if it speaks poorly of my self-esteem.
He sculpts my mind and my indirectly leads me toward who I am supposed to become. I cherish his opinion and I strive to not let him down.
I came to Ohio as a springboard to my future. I came here to better myself in many ways, so that when I return to California I can be the type of woman that is worthy of him. I should focus on that, instead of on my selfish need to speak to him daily, but I fear that if we stop having conversations, he will meet somebody and I will be a distant memory. I probably shouldn't care so much.
I am fearfully anticipating comments like "You are worthy already" or something of the sort. Because I am not. I have explained it before, or attempted, and I have difficulty putting it into words. But I have a goal. And I am not there yet.
Song, NOT video.
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I am terrified that I will always want my ex. That I will always love him. That he can do whatever he wants and I'll still feel like this.