qbug

Frickity frack, I just realized that's ROUTE 66! Henceforth, my trip to Ca will no longer be referred to as "a roadtrip" and will now be referred to only as "getting my kicks".

How fucking cool am I gonna be?


I really really wish I had a boyfriend that would spend a week in a car with me, stopping to take pictures with giant indians,...
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I spent the weekend asserting my new-found independence. Friday night I went to a bar with a really cute guy friend of mine. Yesterday I had lunch with Cassie, went to the book store, went Gallery Hopping with my friend Lora and went to a party with Cassie. Afterwards, I crashed a party next door.

While all of this was fun and my spirits are...
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For this one solid moment in time...
I feel like I have the strength to move on
I feel like I can get over it
And I feel calm

I'm kind of a scary bitch. Found out who his new girlfriend is... yelled and broke things for a while. Checked out her myspace. She's not cute. She's thin, but she's not cute. She just turned 18, just got outta high school and just had her braces taken off.
Her myspace quote says that she LOVES her Kevin. Let me emphasize differently this time: she...
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I don't know that I've ever had a dream where I've known it was a dream before. I did last night, to some extent. I woke up at 3am, crying, and typed myself a little note before going back to sleep:

dream about seeing kevin and giving him a huge hug and saying "i know this isn't real and i wont be able to tell...
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I won't say I'm sorry that I've been so unhappy lately. I'm trying to keep it to myself as much as I can though.

Last night I had a dream that some friends and I were walking home after dinner, and we had to walk past his apartment. I told Heather that I was afraid we would bump into him somewhere, and Cassie pointed up...
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I woke up today
Woke up wide awake
In an empty bed
Staring at an empty room
I have myself to blame
For the state I'm in today
And now dying
Doesn't seem so cruel And oh, I don't know what to say
And I don't know anyway
Anymore

I hate myself for losing you
I'm seeing it all so clear
I hate myself for...
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I've heard it said that people come into our lives for a reason, bringing something we must learn. And we are lead to those who help us most to grow if we let them, and we help them in return. I don't know if I believe that's true, but I know I'm who I am today because I knew you.

Who can say if I've...
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Other than the wonderful support I'm getting from you guys, I can't think of anything positive in my life right now.

This, however, is slightly amusing and once I have money to remedy it, I will be laughing.

I fell asleep watching TV last night, hence I fell asleep with my glasses on. My dog ate my glasses. They are fucked up. The bottom of...
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I am alive.

I just spent 3 days in the crisis hospital under suicide watch. I'm happy to be home but I am not happy.




I'll be listening to Alanis Morissette for a while and being super sensitive. Deal.

Kthanx, love ya.