Holy shit, it was like two responsible things in two days. You know those people you know you shouldn't be friends with, but for whatever reason you just don't tell them to fuck off? Well now I have, and it feels pretty awesome.
Yesterday's choice was difficult. This one was much easier, and left me feeling much better afterwards.
Yup, there's sun in Portland. It's...
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Yesterday's choice was difficult. This one was much easier, and left me feeling much better afterwards.
Yup, there's sun in Portland. It's...
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So I did the responsible thing. I stopped things with Mystery Lady. She has a boyfriend, and she and I were on a predictable path. I've been on both ends of that scenario, the other guy and the boyfriend, and it always sucks for everyone. Nothing good comes out of it.
Telling myself I did the right thing doesn't make me any less disappointed. Maybe...
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Telling myself I did the right thing doesn't make me any less disappointed. Maybe...
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d_day:
*standing ovation*
I too have been in both positions. And you are correct, it sucks for everyone.
I too have been in both positions. And you are correct, it sucks for everyone.
prockgirlscout:
You're a stronger man than I.
Mystery girl, the nurse who has followed my Livejournal for years, wrote me back through Myspace. Then she posted a picture of herself. Then she blocked me from being able to respond.
I don't remember the last time I was this interested in someone, or this turned on. Something about the unattainable drives me nuts.
This morning she wrote me back again. As of now...
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I don't remember the last time I was this interested in someone, or this turned on. Something about the unattainable drives me nuts.
This morning she wrote me back again. As of now...
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VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
prockgirlscout:
Let me see her picture.
prockgirlscout:
Hello! 
The only thing that I don't like is that she blocked you. What kind of bullshit is that?
The only thing that I don't like is that she blocked you. What kind of bullshit is that?
"Just watch yourself dude. That chick has felt a lot of things for a lot of people. But the one thing she felt that they all heard about was herself."
LOL
LOL
I got something very much like a valentine. It was the first time I blushed in weeks. Thank you mystery lady.
It's amazing how little 3 oxycodone does for heartache.
On the upside, it's amazing just how much peace of mind can be bought with a little closure.
On the upside, it's amazing just how much peace of mind can be bought with a little closure.
prockgirlscout:
Kick down plzkthx.
Not really though.
Not really though.
If only I lived alone so I could bang my head on my desk in real life like I'm doing in my head.
It's a hard night to feel this alone.
It's a hard night to feel this alone.
It's been over 36 hours since I've had any dilaudid. It's getting harder by the minute not to take some more. Instead I'm going to try and write The Good about that last hospital stay. That should pass some of the time.
There isn't a lot of Good is in this update, and what there is are not so much things that I went through...
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There isn't a lot of Good is in this update, and what there is are not so much things that I went through...
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d_day:
A fine cake indeed!
prockgirlscout:
That message from your MySpace person is very touching.
And come on, you've gotta know I cut everyone periodically out of my own pain, not because of anything to do with any of the people I cut. I love you, dude.
And come on, you've gotta know I cut everyone periodically out of my own pain, not because of anything to do with any of the people I cut. I love you, dude.
Here's The Bad.
I'll start by telling you about the singular event that really defined this hospital stay for me. The one story I will take away with me, and I can't imagine ever forgetting. Afterwards I'll do a run down of the negative changes in my life that have come about since and because of this hospital visit.
On January 15th at approximately 11pm...
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I'll start by telling you about the singular event that really defined this hospital stay for me. The one story I will take away with me, and I can't imagine ever forgetting. Afterwards I'll do a run down of the negative changes in my life that have come about since and because of this hospital visit.
On January 15th at approximately 11pm...
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VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
prockgirlscout:
You amaze me.
mistersatan:
Sweet fucking Christ.
My original post is canceled. I had been going to write The Bad part of this hospital stay, including the story of what made this hospital stay worse than all the others - and that's saying something. But I'm putting it off. A friend's mother died tonight as he tried to get her to the hospital in time. Tonight my thoughts and my sympathies go...
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So usually, we end up talking all night.
lame, I know.