purple_wings

hi world,

i'm finally pretty sure of myself now... i really think i'm a lesbian. i'm not sure, but i mean, i donno... i've been so confused lately. it would be a good thing though. it's really what i seem to almost be yearning for or something. i want to "end up" "that way" like, i don't care what other people think anymore. leaving my relationship is going to be a tad bit harder, but the health of my mind is in jeopardy with the depression it's causing me. so i think i'm just going to own up to my real feelings and leave this relationship that i've been disliking and that i think is causing me mental damage. ashley told me that even if i have to deal with lots of emotional baggage that comes out thru all of this, it's what i need and what's good for me, and i know she's right. so yeah... i'm sure i'll procrastinate doing what's right for me cuz i'm a scaredy cat, but at least i think i know what's right for me.

today went well, slow and boring but well. this evening i think i'm just going to read and cozy up in the house. i'm sleepy...

xoxo and nitenite,

--natalie