For those of you who have no interest in cars, this tale will likely have little attraction. On the other hand, if you enjoy reading stories about the horrible and often humorous circumstances that befall your fellow humans, read on.
Sunday my friend Jesus (no, not Jesus, read it as if you were Spanish) and I embarked on a mighty adventure: installing my new car alarm. For him, this was a simple quest. Hes been doing installation like this for ten years. For me, well, I didnt have a fucking clue what I was doing aside from what I read in the alarm instructions.
The install goes off without a hitch. The alarm works great. The car, however, does not. It takes about ten seconds longer to start, and runs like crap. Crap. The car shakes violently, and sounds like it has some sort of engine cancer. We think its the sparkplugs, based on some quick trouble-shooting. Replaced the sparkplugs. Still fucked. Switched coil packs, and still nothing.
The CHECK ENGINE SOON light is on. Now, I know I love car warning lights. Could they possibly be any more vague? How about Problem, or Uh-oh! We check the error codes from the computer, and it turns out I have a whole mess of electrical things wrong. I had an injector problem, my cam sensor was borked, my radiator fuse relay was done for; the list goes on. Were baffled. Never have we seen such an odd assortment of error codes, or such a long list of error codes. I disconnect the alarm. It could work, right? No. We unwire it from the starter and ignition, and that isnt the cause, either. Faulty wiring is not the issue. In a last ditch effort, I suggest we make sure I didnt bump anything while I was installing the alarms siren.
Oh, look. One of the wire harnesses that connect to the computer is slightly ajar. *click*
*vroooom*
Perfect.
Sometimes, life is just so much fun.
Sunday my friend Jesus (no, not Jesus, read it as if you were Spanish) and I embarked on a mighty adventure: installing my new car alarm. For him, this was a simple quest. Hes been doing installation like this for ten years. For me, well, I didnt have a fucking clue what I was doing aside from what I read in the alarm instructions.
The install goes off without a hitch. The alarm works great. The car, however, does not. It takes about ten seconds longer to start, and runs like crap. Crap. The car shakes violently, and sounds like it has some sort of engine cancer. We think its the sparkplugs, based on some quick trouble-shooting. Replaced the sparkplugs. Still fucked. Switched coil packs, and still nothing.
The CHECK ENGINE SOON light is on. Now, I know I love car warning lights. Could they possibly be any more vague? How about Problem, or Uh-oh! We check the error codes from the computer, and it turns out I have a whole mess of electrical things wrong. I had an injector problem, my cam sensor was borked, my radiator fuse relay was done for; the list goes on. Were baffled. Never have we seen such an odd assortment of error codes, or such a long list of error codes. I disconnect the alarm. It could work, right? No. We unwire it from the starter and ignition, and that isnt the cause, either. Faulty wiring is not the issue. In a last ditch effort, I suggest we make sure I didnt bump anything while I was installing the alarms siren.
Oh, look. One of the wire harnesses that connect to the computer is slightly ajar. *click*
*vroooom*
Perfect.
Sometimes, life is just so much fun.
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Edited: For a typo.
[Edited on Mar 25, 2004 9:57PM]