pudding

so its the night before i get married and i feel wierd. i'm 500 kinds of excited to be starting something new with the boy i love, begining that lifelong journey as i were. at the same time i can't get all the nagging voices of other people out of my head, by that i mean the people i announce to that i'm getting married and they instantly ask: how old are you? i'm 20, and i don't want to hear 20 different failed high school sweetheart stories from you, is that okay? grrrrrrrr........seriously, just grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr......... the people in my life who are suposed to be supportive are being supportive, but its like i have a tiny bubble of protection and everyone else is standing outside my bubble telling me what a dumbass i am. whateva, they can hate all they want, i don't have to listen. but it's hard not to. i feel like the walking dead today, so fucking tired all the time, it may be the drugs. brains, i crave brains!!! i noticed something odd today, every time i've had my birth control refilled they have given me a new dispenser compact thing, so now i have like 4 of the damn things and look like a gigantic proponent of female contraceptives, which i am, but to each their own method. broke down and did dishes, almost yarked twice, the smell was aweful. i am not as much of a pig as i sound like, i swear. applied for a job at a sandwich shop today, think i may get it, which would be excellent. quit my job at the factory making $11 and hour to work at a sandwich shop for minimum wage, awesome. money is only the means to an end anyway, and really not that important. love, now that is important.