pudding

so i went a little crazy...again. i spent the last five days in the psych unit for depression/detox. i'm back on the antidepressants again. and have a new shrink, therapist and a date with an AA meeting on friday. it's good to be out in the light of day again. i had run myself down so thoroughly that i spent a good day solid asleep while in the ward. i woke up only for meals and even then i woke up fucking late. but i'm okay now. i got sprung around nine thirty this morning and called everyone i know to tell them i was out. joe only called me twice the entire time and never visited or asked when visiting hours even were. the best word to describe our relationship to each other is sausagefest. meaning that we are both incredible dicks. em and her mom came to visit me twice and even brought me a new phone card and a stuffed zebra that i named eunuch rattle-butt. there will be pictures at some point. he's a toy you would give to a small child or mental patient which made him more than fucking perfect. the big cat, sylvester, is curled up on my jeans on the floor. the boys missed my lame ass. the little cat won't shut up. i started two books while in the ward but didn't get very far between all the groups and shit that they had planned out for us. relaxation therapy was so relaxing that i fell asleep until someone made a moderately loud noise. my shrink thinks that if i better understood bipolar disorder i could manage it a little better. i've tried to educate myself on it but most books on the subject read like a fucking checklist for me. yup, got that, that and that. check. i guess the part i'm not really comprehending is that there is a pattern to my behavior and it's not as random as i seem to think it is. saw an add in the paper for a receptionist at a beauty salon that is just down the sidewalk from work (same strip mall). i look like hell tonight or else i would go fill out the application now, i will do it tomorrow when i'm all bright and shiny and new and shit. did a little retail therapy and got the most awesome pair of shorts, even though i don't wear shorts. they are more like the long shorts that guys wear and that makes them hot.