pudding

where do i begin on a day like today? from the very, very beginning. i polished off my last rum and coke of the evening around midnight-thirty. i had intended to have a drink or two and ended up having six or seven. i was still intoxicated when i woke up this morning which made taking a shower really fun. had to be into work by nine, so i sobered up as much as possible in the time given. i felt lousy all morning, the dead opossum in the middle of the road on 25th street must have been a sign from god. half-way through the work day i am wandering around in the parking lot wrangling carts, no big deal. i look like a tool in my uniform as usual, blue polo shirt, khakis, an orange vest with reflective tape, and sunglasses because i was outside. i walk past a bench where this older woman had been sitting for a while, and she asks me if i'm a guy or a girl. pause, flip up sunglasses, i'm a girl. over the next fifteen minutes she tells me that i am pretty and that she likes my hair but that she thinks i should get my teeth whitened. huh? it's not even that i was offended by any of it, she seemed like a real nice lady and she was giving me a legitimate excuse to slack off at work. but i wonder if this happens to other people as frequently as it happens to me. it's like my presence just pulls honesty and forthrightness right out of people.