pudding

at this moment i have a route 44 chery-vanilla dr. pepper and an orange cream slush sitting on my desk. i had the craving. joe's going away party was tonight, i stayed for half of it. amy's video was so well put together that i don't think there was a single person watching it that didn't think to themselves, "damn, i can't believe we have changed so much in so little time." i spawned a painting when i got home, just in the mood for it i guess. i should do laundry, that would be a wise move. my room is a pit from hell. joe should be home soon, maybe we will do that together. i think it is going to be hard for either of us to sleep tonight. my robots show slight signs of scabbing. i have mixed feelings about joe leaving. on one hand it's great because it will provide the both of us with a stable life in a new place filled with new opportunities. on the other hand its scary as hell, neither of us have ever done this before and i hate being away from my family for too long. i don't know what to think or what to say or anything. i hate being by myself, generally that is when my self-destructive side comes out. i have a feeling i will be spending a lot of time on my mom's couch. lucky for me it is a comfy couch, and appropriately sized for short people. i wish i could find constructive ways to keep my mind off things.