pudding

i suppose i should explain why yesterday sucked so bad and why i had to do some celebratory drinking as a result. yesterday, while i was outside pushing carts at work, i came to the startling realization that the miracle i keep look for that would allow me to stay in california is just not coming and that i will absolutely have to go back...
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today sucks, but booze helps eveything

it's complicated...yeah.

i called in sick to work today because i woke up feeling congested and miserable. i have lost my voice almost completely, when i do talk i sound like an 80 year old smoker. hopefully this will all clear up before i have to work thursday morning. i'm a very clean sick person though, i took a bath this morning and a shower just a...
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today was okay. i woke up to a massive hang over, ugh. and it's official that i'm sick. god damn joe for passing his sickness on to me. my throat is sore and i've started to lose my voice and i'm fairly certain i have a fever. talked to mim today. every time i talk to her she mentions me moving back home and then...
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it's not that anything in particular was wrong with today. but i feel remarkably unsettled at the moment. why is that i can never explain how i feel? at least not in actual words. sometimes when i don't know what to say i will make noises, what i refer to as dinosaur noises. at one point my therapist called these noises my way of vocalizing...
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i have figured out what the fuck is bothering me, i've also figured out that i don't feel like talking about it. i'd just come across looking/sounding like a fucking hypocrite and i have many other opportunities to point out my personal flaws and this does not need to be one of them. goddamn i need to get back into therapy because i don't feel...
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the shopping continues! i'm not sure what i'm trying to get over at this point but it must be fairly substantial for the amount of shopping i've done. bought a few cute shirts today. trying to figure out what the hell i'm going to do for the next few months while joe is gone. he ambushed me in the bath tub and gave me the...
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it's been a stressful couple of days. when joe went m.i.a after getting back from missouri it turns out he was in hermosa beach drinking his guts out with his retarded friends and left his phone in the trunk of someone's car for over 24 hours. i was so worried about him that i fucking balled my eyes out at work when he finally called,...
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i'm a little bit pissed off because joe was supposed to be home at around 2:30 and it is now 8ish and i haven't heard a word from him. i called and texted a couple times but he's not picking up. so now all i can do is sit and wait. and i fucking hate shit like this where there is nothing i can do....
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