pudding

i'm am pretty sure i will be going to work tomorrow short of vomiting or just dropping dead. i ate chicken soup for the first two meals of the day and had 6/8 of a pizza and half a large vanilla milkshake for the third. i think that i can keep down most real foods but i probably won't test that by filling my gullet...
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i had to leave work an hour early yesterday because i am sick as shit. i made it to the first stop light before i started heaving my guts out, unfortunately the bag i was puking into had a hole in it. needless to say that i got spew on my pants, shirt, hoodie, and emergency brake. good times. i got home only to have...
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today wasn't as bad as i thought it was going to be. actually, it was unnervingly standard. i smiled a lot more today than i have in about a week, so i suppose that is a good sign. i'm such a loser, i watched mean girls while eating leftover pizza. yeah, it's pretty lame. em has plans tonight and joe is still at work so...
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agh. i don't want to go to work today. i want to stay home in my tacky pajamas with my cats where it is safe. in my hoodie, with the hood up looking much like an ewok. last night i had to go and chase carts in the rain wearing a retarded, oversized rain poncho that kept my top half dry but soaked my pants...
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sometimes i do really really really dumb things.

you know what fluvoxamine does? it makes me sick. and i can't keep myself from laughing while kiko chases the bottle across my bathroom floor. i have managed to avoid vomiting so far but i have to work in the morning and hope not to repeat the nausea dance tomorrow because im pretty sure that the smell of a public restroom would make me yak...
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sometimes people make strange choices and i begin to wonder if im really the crazy one. maybe the rest of the world is off its fucking rock too and im just a bit more vocal about it. my shrink says that i am definitely borderline and i have obsessive traits. and when you first here the words "obsessive traits" you think to yourself (or at...
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i preemptively called in sick to work tomorrow/ technically today. i was supposed to pull a 7:30 am. to 4:30 pm., but i highly doubt i could have kept it together that long. thank god for good-hearted bosses who are willing to write notes for me so that i don't have to call in and tell the big boss im not going to be there...
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so i wanted to go out and hit a bar last night like a normal person my age would on friday/payday, but i couldn't find anyone to go with me, plus i hear all the really good places to go are not located in san pedro and i didn't want to go very far. having no friends sucks. so i went shopping, which as we...
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i don't usually watch grey's anatomy but there is nothing else on. work was very boring today, but at least we had a better salvation army bell ringer guy outside the store. the first guy had weasel eyes and smoked really rank cigarettes, but the guy we had today was friendly and actually smiled, plus he wasn't creepy. i am seriously considering looking for a...
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*flashes middle finger and the shocker* mmm...vodka and pumpkin pie!

i love all of you. i'm not even joking. you have been with me through the roughest shit i've ever seen. and i would kiss each and every one of you if i could. turkey day was like any other day, but with more booze. you are all in my agnostic prayers. don't fear being alone. i am always with you. love, cassie.