Sunday Mar 18, 2007

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it's easier to write the things you can't say, even if they are the wrong things.
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
grady31:
Howdy.......... smile
grady31:
Howdy.......... smile

Sunday Mar 18, 2007

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i'm still wearing last night's eyeliner. it was a good evening.
bepps:
Whoa me too!

er.

wait....

Maybe not. biggrin

Saturday Mar 17, 2007

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got my schedule for next week. i work 7am-2:30 pm on my birthday. fucking awesome.
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beaky:
yey for working less on your bday
zetamale:
I'm not sure if you're genuinely excited because you get off so early or sarcastic because you have to be in so early, but either way, have some fun on your birthday!

Thursday Mar 15, 2007

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it's going to be one of those nights. i hope joe decideds to sleep at work tonight. rolls eyes, and exits stage left.
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rizzmatico:
lately i've been going stage right and its been a nice change up. feel better.
bepps:
Well, was it one of those nights?

biggrin

Wednesday Mar 14, 2007

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the sucktasticness continues. changed the ringtone on my phone, the other one was like a punch to the skull everytime i heard it. oh sweet radio driven irony, fuck the radio. i'm clean but i don't feel clean.

Tuesday Mar 13, 2007

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so i was sitting in the car with jax and kelsey and kelsey says, "what do you want to do for your birthday? just dinner?" and inside my head i screamed, hell no! i want to do something great. but what is this great thing i want to do? i have not fucking idea. of course i have no idea, i'm sitting here watching sex...
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Monday Mar 12, 2007

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i have spent a lot of time asking myself what to do next and today i got the answer. wait.


and now i have no one to talk to. god damn i want someone to talk to.
VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
bepps:
Yea, I was konked out cold right then. biggrin
girthy:
I know how you feel

Sunday Mar 11, 2007

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i feel like an asshole
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
grady31:
Not good........Not good at all..........I would highly advise nipping it in the bud now before it goes too far.........
zetamale:
I'm an asshole!

But you meant that the other way, didn't you? I'm sorry. Hope you feel better.

Friday Mar 09, 2007

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today was the first day of therapy and it was good. the lady is really nice but like every good therapy session i left feeling like someone had emotionally beat me all to hell. i experienced another hallmark of a good session, i almost cried, almost. i was supposed to go to a AA meeting tonight but i couldn't find the damn place and was...
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rizzmatico:
i wish you luck in regaining that focus, take care

Thursday Mar 08, 2007

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in my phone cam pics folder you will find a picture of my new nipple decorations. my boobs are so shiny now. this makes me happy. gives me something to take care of and gives me a good excuse to pay an undue amount of attention to my boobs. i've been so annoying lately, i'm acting like a needy little bastard and wish like hell...
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atomicant:
fuck yo dad.

Tuesday Mar 06, 2007

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so i went a little crazy...again. i spent the last five days in the psych unit for depression/detox. i'm back on the antidepressants again. and have a new shrink, therapist and a date with an AA meeting on friday. it's good to be out in the light of day again. i had run myself down so thoroughly that i spent a good day solid asleep...
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prockgirlscout:
Bipolar sucks dick. Except for the manic part. I like that part. love blackeyed

I am so glad you're ok. You are a fucking amazing girl and I hope you find a way to maintain just the right amount of crazy. And if you do, let me know. kiss
bepps:
Managing manic depressive dissorder has always been pretty easy for me. I just focus on how i'd look to someone else and when I feel excited I just tell myself to calm down. Whenever I feel down I just say "ok, there's a problem here. Next" and stop doing anything that is making me feel down. If it's thinking about something inparticular then I concentrate on something entirely different. It works really well. The key is just recognizing that you're not feeling normal and adapting to it.The better you can adapt to your changing moods the better you can put yourself into a more normal mood.

Without drugs. biggrin
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