psychicgoldfish

california is bust

so...

i think i am leaving really soon...

to a far away and cold place.

back to maine in january...

i must be fucking crazy--

either that or bored and lonely.

and in love.

truth is

i haven't taken to this place

and it hasn't taken to me

aside from the really great SG people

i met once,

everyone here

is way fucking conservative...

and unfriendly.

i hate how no one

looks anyone in the eye.

and i want to walk around

in the middle of the night

with a candle

to see the moon

and not worry about dying.

i miss the stars

and i want them back.

and i long for a hug

and a night that just goes right

following a day that went right

(where i challenged myself

and met the challenge....)

with the right people

in the right place and a room full of love

and everything needing saying said.

and i have had nights like that.

and it's been too damn long.

and it's like the end of wizard of OZ:

"if i ever again go looking for my hearts desire, i won't look further than my own back yard. 'cause if it isn't there, i probably never really had it to begin with. oh auntie em. there's no place like home!"