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pough

Canada

Member Since 2005

Followers 13 Following 9

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Friday Jul 29, 2005

Jul 29, 2005
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Too many interesting things have come up lately not to make a new entry.

1) LIGERS!

Deb: What are you drawing?
Napoleon Dynamite: A liger.
Deb: What's a liger?
Napoleon Dynamite: It's pretty much my favorite animal. It's like a lion and a tiger mixed... bred for its skills in magic.

Yes, ligers do exist. No, they aren't bred for their skills in magic. They're the result of a male lion humping a female tiger. They have striped asses, and spotty, maned heads. They also happen to be almost twice the size of either of their parents, for whatever reason. And they pretty much only exist in captivity because lion and tiger ranges only overlap marginally and they're not too likely to get together even when they do overlap. Or if they do interact, it's more likely to be fight or flee than fuck.

There's one at a zoo in Nevada. Oh, and when male tigers hump female lions, the end product is a tigon. I shit you not.

2) CUNNILINGUS

I do so love to perform this, but it's always my dearest hope that the woman involved enjoys it much more than me. Anyways, the latest Savage Love is all about how easy it is to follow the simple, intuitive rules of cunnilingus, which results in a very satisfied vagina-owner every time! Here's an excerpt that I lifted from the latest Onion AV Club:

---

Whatever you do, DO NOT use your teeth! Take them out if you have to. Also, try to keep the saliva down to a minimum.
Been There

Good advice, BT. No teeth, boys, and very little saliva.

---

SALIVA, SALIVA, SALIVA: I can't overemphasize the importance of plenty of lubrication.
Cumming From Cunnilingus

No, waituse saliva, boys, and lots of it. But no teeth.

---

The word cunnilingus derives from two Latin words: cunnus (female genitals) and lingere (to lick). But the action should include not only the tongue, but also the teeth. Tongue: soft, yet firm. Teeth: Nibble around down there!
Pussy Prof

No, waituse your teeth to nibble, boys.

---

I figure the only reason we've survived (humans, male and female together) for as long as we have is a) we've got no other choice and b) sometimes we get it right and it feels so damn good. And if your partner of choice still can't get it right...

3) OOSIC DILDOS

Who says science can't teach you nothing? One of my favourite blogs about science kindly included a link to someone who sells walrus penis bones as "naturally-formed sex and marital aids". For those times when a mere 20 inches isn't enough! (Don't worry - I've felt insufficient and inconsequential my whole life. You get used to it.) There's the 21.5 inch model and the 23.25 incher. Want to get your esophagus prodded at the same time as your nethers? Who wouldn't?

You go, girl.

4) ANCIENT GERMAN DILDOS

Oh, those wacky Germans! They're on record as the oldest known manufacturers of dildos. How old? 28,000 years old. Handy for knapping flints, too! Now that's German Engineering!

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/sci/tech/4713323.stm

5) 世界の中心で、愛をさけぶ

From a friend, the day after I watched the movie again with him and his wife:

"We want to give you money to buy us a copy of the
movie when you go to Japan. I was surprised during the
movie that E. didn't cry that much, but then when
we got in the car she cried all the way home."
VIEW 9 of 9 COMMENTS
xixi:
wow, that's amazing, cracker. i want to dye my hair blue, but then i'd get fired. ah sigh. slave to the asian tradition.


more than i ever thought i'd find out about dildos, but thanks, no really, thank you. random sex knowledge always goes good with parties. biggrin
Aug 2, 2005
hethral:
Well I went with Fenral, so at least it was a former co-worker
Aug 2, 2005

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