posh

i am so fucked.

i wish i could explain. but i don't want to type, nor explain my past mistakes. let me just say that i am so poor it is frightening. i am mostly just worried about february, and paying february rent. if my bank decides to not be assholes, then i am fine and dandy, otherwise, i am short. i despise that they hold my cheques for 20 business days still. they insist on only giving me half. even if they cheque isn't substantial. i hope the collections agency guy quits telephoning me. yesterday i received a letter in the mail saying that apparently i am employed now and they will take me to court if i don't pay my student loan in full. funny, i didn't realize i was employed! oh the lies they tell. they can take me to court all they want, if i can barely pay rent, there is no money to get. okay. i guess i did explain mostly.

i am contemplating selling my camera so i can live slightly better. so i can move to vancouver and actually make money. i can always buy another one when i move.

i managed to buy as many presents for my family as i could. i have to mail them today. once again, i wish i didn't have to spend christmas alone. but whatever. there is nothing i can do about it.

have you seen my wishlist lately? yes. it is a shameless plug, but fuck, i am dead and poor. i am even swearing a bunch. how unlike me. *sigh*

also, can someone please explain to me how it is possible that the x-files only be on once a week? sersiouly, what the hell. sunday morning from 8 to 9am. i am jonesing for some x-files damnit. space channel should totally play it daily.