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polonium

Maryland

Hopeful Since 2014

Followers 757 Following 209

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Skill & Sorry

Jul 27, 2015
5
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So it's time for me to play "ketchup" and do some @bloghomework , @lyxzen asked us to write about a skill we'd like to acquire.

Before I get into the homework, I'm gonna give a big apology for being somewhat absent on the site. I've had a lot going on behind the scenes and have been mentally shutting down. I'm still here, still love you all, just a little out of it. My laptop is fried, I'm trying to move(and I'm broke) and trying to figure out my life again. Soooo, I apologize!

Help me Relocate

Now for the homework...

I would love to be able to sing again. I used to sing my heart out. I sang at bars, sang in chorus and did a cabaret. But as I got older I let my voice go. I feel like I sound like a dying duck now and I get so upset about it. My boyfriend plays guitar he loves his music and I would give anything to be able to sing with him. He loves my voice, but I'm pretty sure it's because he loves me and doesn't want to hurt my feelings.

Singing and poetry were my escape. Anytime my life was not where I wanted it to be I would pull myself out of a funk by singing or writing. It was so calming and so soothing. I still sing in private, mostly in the bathroom where it sounds best. Sometimes I record myself and I love it but I'm afraid someone will find the recording and listen to it so I just delete it... Then beat myself up over it.

I still haven't found anything that helps me as much as singing did. It was my peace. And now it's my enemy in a way. I know I should just make faceless videos on YouTube and see what people think but I'm so afraid of the internet trolls. Weird huh? Miss tough exterior Polonium is afraid of keyboard warriors? I am. They know how to cut someone so deep. It's not fair. But it is what it is.

What's your missing skill?

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