pixilated101

ambiguity abounds...

the fulfillment of desire can confound, and lead to longing for the anticipation.

wolf, with grace and beauty you state one of the most basic of all human struggles.

ugh. morning people. i wake when i wake.. roll over, call a friend or two... nap. yeah, life is good.

No, I will explain to you later.

what is with you guys and the enemy crushing and lamenting women???

well, i've got nothing against the brut force for survival and the survival of the fittest thing. in fact, mercy kind of bugs me. the survival of our best genetics is imperative to the healthy survival of the species. of course, opinions differ as to which genes are most useful....

the planet is overpopulated. a lovely natural disaster happened in a most populous part of the world. though it's a drop in the bucket in terms of the global population, the earth spoke. why are we attempting to save lives that she has claimed!?! am i just being callous? does it matter that a couple of my friends and their baby are missing because of the tsunami and that i still believe as i do? does that make me more callous? does it say anything at all. i mean, i could say that even when the cost is personal, i hold to this belief. or maybe it doesn't actually say a damn thing. fuck.

some are weak of body, some weak of mind. you are strong in both. please, reproduce. i am weak of body and sometimes have a less that useful mind. i shall not reproduce. not sure i need to anyway. but that's a tale for another day. ;o)

i find it interesting that of all the comments and questions i've left for you, this is the one you answered with such vigor. (smile)

well just so happin i have brand new work boots and there 10R's yea your size well to bad i stay on the west coast i guess i could send them well hope you liked the pic's i sent put them on my site for me man later.

thanks for wishing me well. and that's not at all a bad idea about the massaging party. in fact.... if i take the way-back machine.... i seem to remember a study hall in high school where we would sit on the floor lined up behind one another and give each other shoulder rubs. no, not everyone. only the total goobers. we even had a rotation schedule for the person in the front of the line. this cold seems to be bringing up some of my odder memories.

i need to abscond some thoughts...

just in the middle of reading old journals...

interesting and self-indulgent...

Happy New Year!!!!!

Thanks. Maybe they would have more meaning if they were videotaped?

i'm lucky - i do live in a bubble. one of my own creating. some think me quite unlucky. and they think i must be very unhappy living all alone in my private bubble. they are wrong.

i completely agree... i want to be a bear and hybernate, but all year long, not just a few months, cause i love to sleep and be away from people...

i had the same thought as smallelaine - about the overpopulation. but just nixing a few thousand is nothing. if she really wants us gone (and i suspect she might) she'll shake us off like so many fleas.

500 years. hum. i remember learning somewhere along the way that the greatest human advancements, especially in the arts and sciences, were made once people started living to be forty. it seems it is useful for that older generation to be able to pass something along to the younger one. but to be quite honest, the first thing i thought of when reading your entry was the vulcans! then i thought i was being silly.... cuz we created them.... then i realized that it doesn't matter. they live long and so do the romulans. they both display possibilities of what could happen were our species more long-lived. it is interesting to consider those possibilities and the many others that exist. it also seems quite futile to me at the moment - along with most everything else.

ok, fear has served humans well - i would never deny that. the fear i was speaking of was the kind wielded by those in power to maintain and increase their power over those who cannot or will not think, question and act.

as for your rather unique use of the term 'checkpoint' - why have you chosen to use that particular term?

i spent like 4 hours on christmas eve cleaning house from top to bottom... ugh.. i am obsessed with my house being clean when anyone comes over, even if they've been to my house a thousand times...

i agree with maitressedemence.... always clean, but never perfect - that perfection we strive for. i'll think i got everything... and then i'll be sitting there chatting and sharing a bottle of vino and see a dusty cobweb dangling from the ceiling and i can't help but knit my brow. *sigh* must be the virgo in me. of me? virgoness and virgoity!

a wise friend of mine said, "if you wait until your house is perfect to have anyone over, you'll never have any company." i'm hoping he's not dead. he was in kerala, india visiting family. *sigh* again. anyway, i do try to follow his advice.

have a splendid time with your friends and it wouldn't hurt to have some lincoln logs or games or something handy for the kids (depending on age) just a thought. what are you making for dinner?

i agree. i don't even know why anyone would want to attempt it. but i must say - thinking about it - i realized that it was an odd thought to be having on the christmas (which i've decided should be renamed "nativity" or something else having to do with the birth of peace into the world - the christ-mass happens at what we call easter - when the dude died and became 'the christ'). i have some odd thoughts too.

say, why were you thinking about that? what prompted the thought? why now? and why did you feel compelled to write it down for us? (not that i mind, i'm just trying to understand it ;o) you know, when you say you just want to understand rather than boldly state that you're analyzing.... it sounds almost as bad. tee hee!

i really am curious though. i like the things you think about and the questions you raise. i like that you share them. thank you.

and.... Merry Christmas! (do you celebrate Christmas?)

ok, nix the merry christmas and replace with - i hope you are invited to a lot of parties and informal gatherings such that you may go twelve days without having to cook yourself a meal!!!

as for the computer model of genetic predisposition etc.... i want to remain as "unpredictable" as people seem to think i am! again i ask - who would want to have their entire life analyzed!?! the thought is disturbing at best. but yeah, soon the computer power necessary to do that will fit in the palm of your hand. (that is, once we master portable power sources - batteries) i think maybe i think a little too much too. some say it's a bad thing. i like it. what think you?