I hate being alone. Everday for the past 5 months. I don't miss anyone except for "her". I miss her to death. All I needed was her. I don't even have an explanation as to why i haven't seen her. 7 long miserable months. hoping,praying for answers and nothing.not one word from her. I fear she may be pregnant with that monster's seed.The manipulative, controlling,cousin fucking, white trash cocksucker that she calls her "boyfriend". If he knew her at all he knew that she was torn between he and I. and I could feel it. the way she would look at me i hadn't seen that look in years. It flashes in my mind all the time. I see it right now.GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!bring her back to me!!! please!!! I shall never be at peace so long as she is abscent from my life.She was my life.The only thought on my mind.For the past 5 years all i think about is her. there's no way to supress the pain all the marijuana and anti depressants in existence couldn't stop the pain. The dreams So cruel everynight i can feel and taste her kiss. Its so fucking real It's like she sneaks in my house and sleeps wih me and has her way with me and i never wakeup.but i do wake up and she's nowhere to be found. Oh,how i welcome death at those moments.No one can replace her not one of these "SG's" not one female can add up to her.She is my barometer for what i look for in a woman. Tonight i will have the same painful dream and i will love every second of it for it's the only time i get with her for right now.
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as for your current mindstate... i'm sorry to hear it... i hope all works out.