JANUARY 2
went to Judy's, sang a little, got a little drunk
i guess i was being obnoxious or whatever
matt starts writing
as he usually does
"i just want you to love me and only me....."
that just killed me, cried
when we left, he had A drive my car, cried the whole way home
got home, changed cried some more, had massive cramps at the same time so that just made it worse
woke up Monday morn and proceeded to cry some more, the only solution is to not see her anymore...........
i have prob never cried so hard for so long in my life
i remember crying a lot when i was without matt before i found him again(wrote him on Thansgiving that year)....it was an ache actually felt in my heart
This was the same exact feeling, like i was losing a piece of me....
it took us till 12:00 or so to get moving, had to get her home
i told her I wished i had said that I loved her everyday, because I do, have always been so afraid of those words and I don't know why......
it started to rain too, felt sort of symbolic or something
she said she would write a bunch of stuff to give to me, poems etc.
she came out and gave me one of her shirts with cool water on it, it smelled incredible, and that made me cry
finally said, i'll talk to you later
i drove off, then had to pull over to cry some more
MATT COMES HOME FROM WORK
pretty much has no idea why i'm so upset, told him i loved him more than anything and that i just wasn't being sensitive to his feelings and that i should have been
said some more stuff then we just lay there hugging for a while, they eve went on as usual, had a great dinner, watched some movies, all is right in the world for now
went to Judy's, sang a little, got a little drunk
i guess i was being obnoxious or whatever
matt starts writing
as he usually does
"i just want you to love me and only me....."
that just killed me, cried
when we left, he had A drive my car, cried the whole way home
got home, changed cried some more, had massive cramps at the same time so that just made it worse
woke up Monday morn and proceeded to cry some more, the only solution is to not see her anymore...........
i have prob never cried so hard for so long in my life
i remember crying a lot when i was without matt before i found him again(wrote him on Thansgiving that year)....it was an ache actually felt in my heart
This was the same exact feeling, like i was losing a piece of me....
it took us till 12:00 or so to get moving, had to get her home
i told her I wished i had said that I loved her everyday, because I do, have always been so afraid of those words and I don't know why......
it started to rain too, felt sort of symbolic or something
she said she would write a bunch of stuff to give to me, poems etc.
she came out and gave me one of her shirts with cool water on it, it smelled incredible, and that made me cry
finally said, i'll talk to you later
i drove off, then had to pull over to cry some more
MATT COMES HOME FROM WORK
pretty much has no idea why i'm so upset, told him i loved him more than anything and that i just wasn't being sensitive to his feelings and that i should have been
said some more stuff then we just lay there hugging for a while, they eve went on as usual, had a great dinner, watched some movies, all is right in the world for now