piracy

from one pov, having a baby that you don't want is utterly stupid - and since i can and "have a right to" undo the mistake, undo the accidental life... lets not be euphemistic: KILL THE FUCKER, probly i should.

another pov is that abortion is murder

my personal pov is - murder doesn't bother me much.


another pov is that having a kid would be good for me, give my life definition and timetables, FORCE me to grow up, etc.

another pov is that that probably wouldn't work out like i'd hope, and moreover it's a TERRIBLE reason to have a kid.

theres the pov that my life, while pointed in an interesting direction, wasn't really moving with any significant speed...

my baby's mama had no life, not in any healthy sense, and my life wasn't really remarkable, it was just slowly incubating, and this would definitely shake things up.

again: a terrible reason to have a kid.

we fit together well enough, to be stable enough, to make it through years and years of bullshit.

we've got nothing going for us careerwise.

we'd probably both be good parents.

we might end up killing each other.

i suppose i could keep going - but i'm getting towards the point -


there's no way to make this decision.

there's no way to come to an agreement, since she almost unilaterally wants the baby, and i don't.

i'm determined to be the father if we have it, she's willing to consider killing it....


which leads us all to:
WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO NOW?

i figure there's even money that the kid would be happy and well adjusted, and something like the same odds for our happiness, too...

can i go through the temporary complications of abortion to avoid the life shattering difficulty of adapting to fatherhood? should i? when it could be a wonderfull thing? though it could be a disaster?



where to now? what's the next step?