phedre

Tonight sucked.

I bought a jacket a few weeks ago when I had money cause it's getting cold enough to need one. A cheap jacket ($20 cause it's getting to be late in the season), but I really really liked it. But I hadn't worn it yet.

So a friend asked me for a ride home today. He was working at the far store, that takes like an hour to get to, and then to get back to his house, then back to mine, over an hour more. So I take my jacket and return it so that I'll have gas money to get there to give him a ride. Then I get dressed in this shirt I hadn't worn yet that I got at the same time as the jacket cause I figured, I had to return the jacket for gas money, I'm wearing this shirt so that I don't end up returning it for money too. Cause I like it, and I want it, and it's my first new clothes in a while.

So I go out there, pick him up, and drive him home. I thought I'd at least get to stay and hang out for a bit. I mean, I did drive forever far. But he says "Okay then, call me tomorrow?" and just like that, I was leaving. I totally got used for a ride.

I stopped by Walmart on the way home just to kill some time. I ended up buying a backpack cause I needed one. So I get to the checkout and the lady searches through the bag like they always do. And she pulls out a tie, which isn't mine and I haven't seen cause I blanked and didn't check the bag myself. I tell her it isn't mine. And she just looks at me.

Remember how I said I'm wearing my new shirt? It's a button-up...ya know, the kind some girls wear ties with.

So she totally didn't believe me at all. But it really wasn't mine. I didn't put it there. I hate getting branded for things I didn't do. Like now they all think I'm a thief. And if I had been trying to steal something, I wouldn't be upset about it. They'd be right. But I wasn't trying to steal shit, and they all thought I was. And that really bugs me.

I mean, I steal shit sometimes. *holds up hands to fend you off* I know, I know. It's wrong. But well, I'm from the ghetto (see Hometown). We don't grow out of shoplifting...we grow into it. It started out with food when I was hungry and broke, and well, now it's just something I do now and again: sometimes for that same reason (food), sometimes so that when I gotta take food, I won't be so out of practice that I get caught.

And I mean, as wrong as it sounds, it's kinda insulting that they think if I wanted to steal shit, I'd put it in something I was buying like that. Cause fuck, that never works and I'm not that stupid. Twisted arguement I know, but dammit, I've stolen from these people before and they've never caught me cause I've never done anything that dumb.

Meanwhile, they probably took my picture from a security camera now and posted it in the back somewhere with the word THIEF above it.

Note to self: next time you are starving and without food, cross the grocery section of Walmart off the list of possibilities...

Luckily, I've developed a quirky little friendship with the night shift greeter since I'm forever going there just to kill time since I'm an insomniac and it's 24 hours. So maybe if they ask around, he'll stick up for me. I doubt it though.

*sigh* Fuck...

Due to my shitty night, there's no picture for tonight's post. I've been picture updating every time I journal update. But I'm not in the mood to show you all how I look right now, cause I'm kinda pissed. So I highly doubt I'll be photogenic, ya know?


Edit:
I've been reflecting on this and considered taking it down. But I ultimately decided anyone who thinks I'm beneath them now can fuck off...that's all