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petiteparadox

Spencer, WV

Member Since 2004

Followers 56 Following 64

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Wednesday May 31, 2006

May 31, 2006
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Life has thrown me some big hurdles in the past few weeks and I've managed to fall over each and every one of them. frown Thus why I was a long-distance runner and not a hurdler in high school track. I don't buy the "what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger" philosophy. I'm more of a "what doesn't kill you, makes you more jaded" kind of gal. I want to be a bigger, better person than I feel right now. I want to be altruistic, empathic. I want to see the silver lining and the bright future. But what I really feel is small, hurt, angry and fearful.

In response to my challenges, as a way of nurturing something healthy and happy and perhaps as a way of reducing my guilt and proving that I'm capable of something productive, I've been very focused on training my horse. Ariel is a light in my life. She is an angel.

This Saturday is my first dressage show of the season. We're riding Training 2 & 3. Wish us luck! My lil' mare is a "challenge". She's intelligent, stubborn and a bit lazy, which makes for a difficult training situation. She takes after me, what can I say. biggrin I'm looking forward to seeing what we can accomplish.

I changed my profile pic to remind myself that I am capable of smiling.

VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
nyssa:
*hugs*

I've never ridden a horse before - but would love to try it sometime. Maybe you could reccommend a good place for a novice to go for a few hours to try it.

Hope things are looking up.

kiss
May 31, 2006
gadget:
I love the new profile picture!

another thing I would love... to come see you ride sometime. I love horses. I've always wanted to learn how to ride but never ever have.

so maybe I could live vicariously through you.

good luck with the training.
Jun 6, 2006

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