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Hi, my name's UltraSexyGuy69696969. To say I'm single would be an understatement. I have two eyes, some hair, and I'm sort of tall. In fact, I'm three dimensional. I'm looking for a woman to e-mail me once with a vague greeting, and then disappear forever.

I like fine dining and long walks on the who gives a rat's ass. But sometimes, I'm just in the mood to stay home and watch a good don't give a flaming fuck. I'd say my biggest hobby is going to couldn't give less of a shit. And by the way, I define myself entirely by the subculture for which I own the most clothing and hair products, and I refuse to take seriously anyone who doesn't indulge my inability to act rationally in a public setting.

If you can't tell by now, I fancy myself a witty, intelligent dickhead, and I'm really going to try and drive it home with this paragraph, since there's nothing else to really say about me as I lack anything akin to a social life. That's why I like these dating profiles so much; I can spend six hours refining what I percieve in my warped world to be the perfect first impression, when in reality I'm almost completely socially inept.

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