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Dear History Channel,

Fairies are real. The governments of the world are keeping this fact a secret from the public because they have nothing better to do than make everyone think I'm crazy (or in the case of Ireland, they are hoarding the leprechaun gold to themselves). Please let myself and a small group of like minded individuals the chance to prove this injustice to the world by giving us our own show.

For our first show we have countless baseless opinions of how a Sidhe by the name of Loke m cac a Shideadh Suas (loosely translated as I Like to Blow **** Up) is the true inventor of gun powder and not the ancient Chinese. We would like Giorgio A. Tsoukalos to guest star on our show to discuss his incredible insight on how Loke m cac a Shideadh Suas may have worked with ancient astronauts to invent gun powder (instead of using the superior technology of the astronauts) as it's clear that humans could not have come up with this on their own.

Also, we think Loke m cac a Shideadh Suas may be linked to Michael Bay in some way.

As a promotion for the show we would like to sell a REAL fairy artifact to Rick Harrison (it's made out of silver).

Your Comrade in Truth-Seeking,

Ronn