pb

i'll drift off to sleep
and sort of hope the world ends
all fire and blood and screams
i hope it ends
while i dream of you
that way i'll never know
it wasn't real




---------------




in response to a friend's email asking, 'what the fuck is wrong with [people] like us"?

to which i replied (with edits for public consumption)

"i don't think anything is wrong with us. i think we, and those like us, are more in touch with the true nature of life, feeling and yearning and dreaming things most of the cattle are too scared to feel or too socially programmed not to feel. we're the normal ones, it is we who experience all our lives have to offer. we don't simply take the mediocre and the good as it comes whilst sweeping the pain of living from view as if it merits no attention or exploration.

that's my pontification for the day.

last night...well, [edit] and guinness and alone at 3am while autumn darkly rages outside the window, scratching its away into my head---tends to bring out the morbid rumination which washes over everything for a time."

quote:
"It's impossible for words to describe what is necessary to those who do not know what horror means. Horror. Horror has a face, and you must make a friend of horror. Horror and moral terror are your friends. If they are not, then they are enemies to be feared. They are truly enemies." --Colonel Kurtz, Apocalypse Now



love what you fear, for it defines you and gives you the strength to go on living and loving and being what you are.



-pb



music: tool, lateralus
book: fevre dream, george rr martin