pb

i'm a happy lil' pb largely due to the excellentness of plaingurl.

thank you, dear.




and thanks to a few of my friends for dropping by anyway for a visit this weekend.

also, attached below is an anti religion rant i went on a few years ago. thanks to zephyra for hanging onto it for me because i can't be trusted not to lose my own cock if it wasn't attached to me.


-pb


music: the cure
book: angels and demons




i am begining to lose my small tolerence for people wrapped up in the
ambiguity of religion/superstition. i have less and less patience for that
fallacy. people fuck me up with their unwillingness to turn against the tide
and all they've been force-fed...and see reality for what it is. i would
rather face a cold, dangerous, lonely, viscious world on my own two feet and
iron resolve than lean on others' weak fabrications.

someone i love
dearly thinks happiness derived from something which may or may not be
true is justified and legitimate. she says if a person is happy, then where
or why said happiness comes about is unimportant, that the ends justify the
means. so what about truth? what about absolute fucking truth? is it our
place, our right, to disagree with what is factual and hard reality just
because it may be outside our sphere of understanding or scope of our
ability to explain? i don't understand how someone can live that way. to
have doubts or vague reasons for believing the very thing that is supposed
to be your reason for existence is an insurmountalbe inconsistancy to me.
then, most turn around and betray the very thing they profess to
follow. they pick and choose the little lies out of the big lies which they
think fit the way they want to live and discard the rest. i don't know
which is worse, believing in religion or betraying the religion they believe
in.

why do people feel so strongly about something so blatantly ambiguous
and against human nature? is a natural reality that fucking scary?

i live
for truth, absoute truth. the way it is. the bare, stripped down, raw, pure,
untainted, untouched version. it isn't my place to reject it just because it
doesn't fit my conception of reality. i'll read the facts, see the tale,
accept it for what it is, and fucking deal with it. end of story. simple. i
don't need parables, holy men, divine fucking love, tithes, a good bedtime
story, or any other thing designed to placate my fear of insignificance in
the face of the universe. i'm an ant, an accident, a micro-organism, a small
and inconsequential part of the small bit of matter which comprises reality
amidst the stars. i can hang with that. i'm comfortable with it. it doesn't
bother me.

but, it also means that my consciousness and lifespan is
limited, which is why i get so fucking irate when people waste my fucking
time with this religion drivel. they pass their judgement - their eyes and
fists are closed and hard - just like their minds. they decide i am
dangerous, that i am evil, and the truths i speak are the words of the
devil, unholy and something to steer clear of.

well, so be it, i want no
fucking part of anything or anyone so disrepecting of their own minds
that they shun what it tells them is real.

cattle. sheep. herds. cud chewers. what happened to the predators...the
hunters?

god happened.