my soft-friends have been looming large in my mind upon waking over the last few days. this can only mean, naturally, i've been dreaming of them. as much as i would love to, however, i can't seem to recall enough details to make a full-blown fantasy out of them. i have but vague impressions and back-filled personalities which create a low-level sort of longing in...
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VIEW 13 of 13 COMMENTS
minimalism:
PB- Hey I see that you may not make the Philly Camping Trip after all. That would be a shame, because it's going to be a great weekend and a ton of fun. If you do reconsider and end up coming I think that there may be two people that need rides. crazybob from DC and SG Morgan. Both are very cool people and will kick in for gas, tolls, etc. I hope you can resolve whatever the conflicts are and come out. You'll really be glad you did.
smuffy:
How the fuck you been? 
i walk a razor thin line every moment, dreaming and living between mindless, killing despair and cautious, blind optimism. i feel every moment like a shank to the kidneys. i feel time slipping past with no way of holding the now like dust in my palm. i can feel my youth draining away into the chasm that is the enormity of the world and its...
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VIEW 14 of 14 COMMENTS
tryst:
as always, heavily awed, you strange, strange creature.
the camping sounded fun. I wish more sgva/dc people were interested because I just quit my job and it sounds like so much fun.
the camping sounded fun. I wish more sgva/dc people were interested because I just quit my job and it sounds like so much fun.
librarian:
Thanks for the kind words, dear. You are pretty great. 
more random musings:
had to shave away a nice 6 day growth of beard this morning. i noticed a lot of grey in there, which made it look sort of sexxy, if i do say so myself. (for a frame of reference, my profile pic is about a 3 day growth, i'm a walking Y chromosome)
my office wilts my soul.
i drive east in...
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had to shave away a nice 6 day growth of beard this morning. i noticed a lot of grey in there, which made it look sort of sexxy, if i do say so myself. (for a frame of reference, my profile pic is about a 3 day growth, i'm a walking Y chromosome)
my office wilts my soul.
i drive east in...
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VIEW 15 of 15 COMMENTS
finch:
hmmmm...yeah, that's a tough choice any way you could go with him a different weekend?
any way you could go with him a different weekend?
thedishwasher:
aww, yay, im glad you didnt read that comment and think i was a total idiot for saying that, hahaha 
random musings:
i sat and read for about two hours on my favorite bench which looks out on the Potomac today.
sometimes perfect moments last longer than only a moment.
sometimes i get sort of lonesome.
walking home just now there were thousands of fireflies along the tree lined path. there were also dozens of bats in the air.
i watched fireworks from atop a...
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i sat and read for about two hours on my favorite bench which looks out on the Potomac today.
sometimes perfect moments last longer than only a moment.
sometimes i get sort of lonesome.
walking home just now there were thousands of fireflies along the tree lined path. there were also dozens of bats in the air.
i watched fireworks from atop a...
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VIEW 13 of 13 COMMENTS
librarian:
Oh, that is the Barbie dream date answer! 
Wish someone had done that for me.
Wish someone had done that for me.
librarian:
Blushing again. 
Boys who are good to their mommies are good to their girlies.
Boys who are good to their mommies are good to their girlies.
sometimes my friends, real life and online, are more than i think i deserve.
also, i signed up to become a foster parent yesterday.
but not for human children. gotcha.
**disclaimer** if you're one of those who buys into all of my alpha-male blustering, read no further. your image of me will be shattered.**
some of you may know that i've this huge soft spot...
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also, i signed up to become a foster parent yesterday.
but not for human children. gotcha.
**disclaimer** if you're one of those who buys into all of my alpha-male blustering, read no further. your image of me will be shattered.**
some of you may know that i've this huge soft spot...
Read More
VIEW 11 of 11 COMMENTS
paulnikon:
The Pirate Puppy picture is awesome. I laughed and laughed. What a sweet dog.
dyme:
dressed like a pirate and im yours hehee
delusion:
awww...what grieves you?
drunk.
morning will bring soberity.
desolate.
you are wrong about desolation. desolate means lifeless, but you feel pain. you are alive. or desolate means bereft of friends. these words exclude the possibilty of this.
dissipated.
some dude named shakespeare once felt dissipated. here's what he chose to do with the emptiness....
Sonnet XVII
Dissipated with toil, I haste me to my bed,
The dear repose for limbs with travel tired.
But then begins a journey in my head,
To work my mind, when body's work's expired:
For then my thoughts, from far where I abide,
Intend a zealous pilgrimage to thee,
And keep my drooping eyelids open wide,
Looking on darkness which the blind do see
Save that my soul's imaginary sight
Presents thy shadow to my sightless view,
Which, like a jewel hung in ghastly night,
Makes black night beauteous and her old face new.
Lo! thus, by day my limbs, by night my mind,
For thee and for myself no quiet find.
disconnected.
you call it disconnection, i call it catharsis. a quiet place where you can figure yourself out. you have big things, life altering things going on. you need to be cognizant of your own emotions and immersed in your thought process to make the most responsible decisions.
distant.
distant. dc and texas are not worlds away. you'll be home soon, t.
haunted
the things that haunt us are the things that remind us we have lived and loved. they are the things that linger so that we never forget the life we have lived. what haunts you? you ok?
stay gold, ponyboy. stay gold.
drunk.
morning will bring soberity.
desolate.
you are wrong about desolation. desolate means lifeless, but you feel pain. you are alive. or desolate means bereft of friends. these words exclude the possibilty of this.
dissipated.
some dude named shakespeare once felt dissipated. here's what he chose to do with the emptiness....
Sonnet XVII
Dissipated with toil, I haste me to my bed,
The dear repose for limbs with travel tired.
But then begins a journey in my head,
To work my mind, when body's work's expired:
For then my thoughts, from far where I abide,
Intend a zealous pilgrimage to thee,
And keep my drooping eyelids open wide,
Looking on darkness which the blind do see
Save that my soul's imaginary sight
Presents thy shadow to my sightless view,
Which, like a jewel hung in ghastly night,
Makes black night beauteous and her old face new.
Lo! thus, by day my limbs, by night my mind,
For thee and for myself no quiet find.
disconnected.
you call it disconnection, i call it catharsis. a quiet place where you can figure yourself out. you have big things, life altering things going on. you need to be cognizant of your own emotions and immersed in your thought process to make the most responsible decisions.
distant.
distant. dc and texas are not worlds away. you'll be home soon, t.
haunted
the things that haunt us are the things that remind us we have lived and loved. they are the things that linger so that we never forget the life we have lived. what haunts you? you ok?
stay gold, ponyboy. stay gold.
VIEW 26 of 26 COMMENTS
kris7:
BTW, do you listen to Poison The Well? They have an instrumental song that features a sample of the Kurtz speech in my journal. It's fucking awesome.
maurauder:
*waves from accross the cyber web*
'Hi"
'Hi"
VIEW 23 of 23 COMMENTS
delusion:
actually no. he attempts, on a nightly basis, to keep tempo with my insomniac's pace even after i have told him a million times he neednt. then he inevitably crashes and burns around 5 am and sleeps the day away. so, no safety net for my swooning.
i was going to say 'you dont have to be a hero, t, these problems are bigger than you and beyond your reach, dont be self destructive out of boredom' but then, upon further thought i realized - if our soldiers don't have the hearts of heroes who will? i think the responsibilty and honor of the service is something that my self serving character cant even intellectualize. that altruism and sacrifice and honor....it confounds me.
i really do hope that you are back in texas soon with your fam and your peace of mind close by.
(you called me jules. heehee. )
i was going to say 'you dont have to be a hero, t, these problems are bigger than you and beyond your reach, dont be self destructive out of boredom' but then, upon further thought i realized - if our soldiers don't have the hearts of heroes who will? i think the responsibilty and honor of the service is something that my self serving character cant even intellectualize. that altruism and sacrifice and honor....it confounds me.
i really do hope that you are back in texas soon with your fam and your peace of mind close by.
(you called me jules. heehee.
)
luckyp:
Okay I was way more impressed by "pentasyllabic" than "exhibitionist"...
Of course, I am most impressed when you ARE an exhibitionist!
You look adorable with your little Alvin cheeks...
--l*P
Of course, I am most impressed when you ARE an exhibitionist!
You look adorable with your little Alvin cheeks...
--l*P
VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
librarian:
I have never heard Marilyn Manson. I am surprised I even knew who that is. Glad you wrote "manson."
rachet:
Thanks for the happy birf day
when what you've got to offer isn't overly rare, you wouldn't be remiss and would probably be wise to take your goods someplace else. consider a place where your goods...are the goods, so to speak. preferably someplace where bookish, baldish, increasingly stout and intensely amorous boys in their late 20s will be, well, a sought after commodity.
if only.
-pb
music: twin peaks soundtrack
book:...
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if only.
-pb
music: twin peaks soundtrack
book:...
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VIEW 13 of 13 COMMENTS
dravenraine:
Oh I will.....trust me...I WILL!!!! 
tryst:
increasingly stout and intensely amorous....lmao. this is why I heart you.
VIEW 12 of 12 COMMENTS
zephyra:
Call me!!!!
maurauder:
um...
wow
ummm
*insert glib response*
wow
ummm
*insert glib response*
actually, i don't want to put that list of questions up because answering them is such a chore for me, and probably is for you.
*sigh* sat night and bleh. whatev.
say something coy and teasing.
-pb
music: the cure, disintergration
book: still life with woodpecker
*sigh* sat night and bleh. whatev.
say something coy and teasing.
-pb
music: the cure, disintergration
book: still life with woodpecker
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
librarian:
Yeah, it's rough when you get what you ask for.
_bossanova_:
That sounds delicious.
