patricky

Just for the fun of it, something I wrote tonight on another board, in response to yet another geek (it's a gaming forum) who can't get the nuts up to talk to a pretty girl. A redhead, no less. Come on now folks, you got to hit that shit when you can get that shit. Tapping hot, redhead ass whenever possible is enshrined in the CONSTITUTION, mother fuckers. Or it oughta be.

Ahem:


Okay. Years ago, we had something here called the Four Bastards Academy. It was a bit of a laugh, really, involving four guys who had been around long enough to get so egotistical as to believe we'd finally pulled our heads out of our asses about a few things.

I was one of those Four Bastards (if you need proof, just look at the stickied thread about old, famous Tangency threads). I'm now going to relive that moment.


SHAPE UP SON, AND GET YOUR HEAD IN THE GAME.

She ain't selling coupons to you. She ain't "fucking" with you, and her friends aren't giggly bints LARPing GlennGarryGlennRoss. She thinks you're cute, and she wants you to ask her out.

If this wasn't the way it was, then 5 of them wouldn't come into the store all the time. Here's them:

"Hey, come with me and tell me this guy's cute."

"Okay."

"There he is, isn't he cute?"

"HEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEE!"

Fuck customers, dude. They aren't going to be alienated by anything but your failure to deliver a sandwich. Hell, the ones that aren't pricks are going to think it's just so insufferably adorable that you asked out a pretty girl right there on their lunch break.

And as to alienating her? Fuck that. The only way you alienate her is by proving to be such a lump that you don't ask her out. I mean it. You don't ask... she's going away. Hot redheads don't need to wait for long, baby. If you don't play, she won't stay. That's the only alienation you need fear.

Seriously man. Give her the YOU, with extra bacon. That's what she wants. And make that shit SNAPPY.