pantsonfire

tough week for me.

i made a lot of headway, though. had to say some things to a few people that really needed to be said, pressure's easing up a little bit. a lot of uncomfortaable situations are resolving because i finally grew a pair and actually confronted these people sincerely (i high-lited this word because i will come baack to this theme in a following paragraph). i remember a time when i lived outside all the bullshit drama & gossip; not anymore. everybody knows everybody's business around here and everybody's always digging for more.

i used to use SG to actually say what was going on with me, sincerely, but i don't go there anymore. i feel lucky to have somebody who's a good listener, someone to get together with, lock the world out, and just be ourselves however our selves are being in that particular moment.

so what is sincerity to me? i know i am likeable only if i'm sincere, that is, i'm liked by others, but more importantly myself. if i'm not sincere i'm being fake and i despise that. fun fact: my first phone number was (402)342-FAKE when i lived back in omaha - pretty fucking lame, eh? i want to like myself more than i do now.