pammy

Yeah, i'm having a hard time lately. Comp's screwy, money is beyond tight, and I'm scared. I feel like because I can't get out that much that people I considered close friends are pulling away. Sucking badly in my first rollerderby bout got me way depressed and I've missed two practices this week because of work and transportation problems. I don't want to quit because I know I need to get over some shit emotionally and I'll be a kick ass player.It's the 'getting over' part I'm having a much harder time than i thought with. The accident and subsequent financial and emotional bullshit i've been dealing with is really really getting to me. I have a shitty job, no car to speak of, no real future, and now I am the worst player derby has ever seen. I wish i could just go back to before the whole thing where I was spunky, cheery Pammy again, but I just can't seem to get there as hard as i try.