Whilest I was trying to sleep, I had a thought that kept me awake. No this is a very good thought. The only bad in it is that it kept me awake. Thank god my computer is already on and wired to the web. That is not my thought.
Last night ,or I guess you could say this night. Oh hell... A few hours ago, I read a message from SamanthaKayne (who is in charge of the Colorado group that I am trying to get in) urging me to put an entry into a journal. I did just that. It however was not this entry but the last one about the army. After I put that entry in, I decided to hit the hay. Then I had a wild thought. This very thought urging me to typ this long ass rambling entry (I Ramblle quite a bit. But I am ADHD and have a billion thoughts swirl through my head that I want to get out). I need to get in to it.
Anyways she urged me to put an entry into my journal (Samantha, I don't think that was too high of a demand) NOw I didn't think much of it and I put the entry in. Then I realized something. (I already knew that she was trying to keep the creeps out and she was filtering and that's what I thought she was trying to do at the time) I realized that she wass actually intereseted in knowing who I am.
This is a little easier in some aspects on the internet because you don't exactly see the person face to face. There is no intimidation. It alllows some masks to be worn while it keeps others from being worn. She was interested in knowing more of my personality. Not the way I live so much. She wasn't interested in appearance or anything else. She was interested in me for my true self.
I said once that I appreciate REAL people. In thought I was not being REAL by hiding behind a lack of words. I apologize for this. The thought is that there is someone who wants to know ME. who will appreciate me for who I am for starts. Sam, You have moved me deeply for this. Hopefully, with this posting, you will know me for that and appreciate me for it too. It puts a good feeling in my heart that someone can appreciate ME and not my disguises (which I try not to wear but I do) or my appearance (which solders judge you almost entirely by). This gives you a gold star in my book.
I do not know any other way for ya'll to see me for who I am whether in person or in virtual. I keep meaning to put some pics in and I hope to doon. Not that that has anything to do withanything, that is one of those random thoughts I was thinking. I hope ya'll don't find this writing anoying. I am showing you all my REAL self. Maybe I can start a trend.
I believe that if everyone takes off their masks and were real and honest with eachother, Than the world would be peaceful. We would all have a deaper respect for each other. There would still be enemies but eventually even they would grow scarce or out of exsistance. I do my best to be no ones enemy and I must say that I often find I become my worst enemy.
I do not believe in cencorship (I hope that is spelled right) For all theses reasons. If you have something to say, Do not hold back. If it needs to be said, say it. Yes do your best to be sensitive but don't hide the truth from me. I get enough of that from those at work or old girlfriends or whatever.
I really think I need to know honestly what people think of me and everything else. What their feelings are, on an intimate level, about me good or bad. I Really wish I could know everyone I meet on an intimate level. I think this is the next step in our evelution. What do ya'll think?
Shit, I didn't mean to write a small paper but i did get my thoughts down and perhaps I can sleep. I really want to know your views on this. I was originally going to just post this to my journal. I think now I will also post it to my philosophy group and see what they think.
Last night ,or I guess you could say this night. Oh hell... A few hours ago, I read a message from SamanthaKayne (who is in charge of the Colorado group that I am trying to get in) urging me to put an entry into a journal. I did just that. It however was not this entry but the last one about the army. After I put that entry in, I decided to hit the hay. Then I had a wild thought. This very thought urging me to typ this long ass rambling entry (I Ramblle quite a bit. But I am ADHD and have a billion thoughts swirl through my head that I want to get out). I need to get in to it.
Anyways she urged me to put an entry into my journal (Samantha, I don't think that was too high of a demand) NOw I didn't think much of it and I put the entry in. Then I realized something. (I already knew that she was trying to keep the creeps out and she was filtering and that's what I thought she was trying to do at the time) I realized that she wass actually intereseted in knowing who I am.
This is a little easier in some aspects on the internet because you don't exactly see the person face to face. There is no intimidation. It alllows some masks to be worn while it keeps others from being worn. She was interested in knowing more of my personality. Not the way I live so much. She wasn't interested in appearance or anything else. She was interested in me for my true self.
I said once that I appreciate REAL people. In thought I was not being REAL by hiding behind a lack of words. I apologize for this. The thought is that there is someone who wants to know ME. who will appreciate me for who I am for starts. Sam, You have moved me deeply for this. Hopefully, with this posting, you will know me for that and appreciate me for it too. It puts a good feeling in my heart that someone can appreciate ME and not my disguises (which I try not to wear but I do) or my appearance (which solders judge you almost entirely by). This gives you a gold star in my book.
I do not know any other way for ya'll to see me for who I am whether in person or in virtual. I keep meaning to put some pics in and I hope to doon. Not that that has anything to do withanything, that is one of those random thoughts I was thinking. I hope ya'll don't find this writing anoying. I am showing you all my REAL self. Maybe I can start a trend.
I believe that if everyone takes off their masks and were real and honest with eachother, Than the world would be peaceful. We would all have a deaper respect for each other. There would still be enemies but eventually even they would grow scarce or out of exsistance. I do my best to be no ones enemy and I must say that I often find I become my worst enemy.
I do not believe in cencorship (I hope that is spelled right) For all theses reasons. If you have something to say, Do not hold back. If it needs to be said, say it. Yes do your best to be sensitive but don't hide the truth from me. I get enough of that from those at work or old girlfriends or whatever.
I really think I need to know honestly what people think of me and everything else. What their feelings are, on an intimate level, about me good or bad. I Really wish I could know everyone I meet on an intimate level. I think this is the next step in our evelution. What do ya'll think?
Shit, I didn't mean to write a small paper but i did get my thoughts down and perhaps I can sleep. I really want to know your views on this. I was originally going to just post this to my journal. I think now I will also post it to my philosophy group and see what they think.
on being real: two thoughts. 1 - the boy i lived with in college used to say, some friends are like baking pans. smooth and flat and used exclusively for their surface. while necessary, these are not the friends we remember. other friends are like mixing bowls. the surface becomes irrelevant because it's the depth that you're using. yeah, he was doing dishes during this revelation. but it's still good. 2 - i went out with a friend saturday night that i haven't spent a lot of time with, but one of the things that came up that i thought was interesting was that i ended up admitting that one of the things i like most about him is one of the things that causes me to avoid him sometimes. he will not make polite conversation. if you're gonna talk to him, there's going to actually be communication. which is cool, and exhausting if you're not up to it.
my .02