Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner
is taking their sweet time:
1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples
carts when they aren't looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at
5-minute intervals.
3 Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the
rest rooms.
4 Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
'Code 3' in housewares ..... and see what happens.
5 Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay- away.
6 Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7 Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other
shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
8 When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask
'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
9 Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, and
pick your nose.
10 While handling guns in the hunting department,
ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.
11 Dart around the store suspiously, loudly humming the
"Mission Impossible" theme.
12 In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using
different size funnels.
13 Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say
"PICK ME!" " PICK ME!"
14 When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the position bend over put your hands to your ears and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"
( And last, but not least!)
15 Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while;
and, then, yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"
is taking their sweet time:
1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples
carts when they aren't looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at
5-minute intervals.
3 Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the
rest rooms.
4 Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
'Code 3' in housewares ..... and see what happens.
5 Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay- away.
6 Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7 Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other
shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
8 When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask
'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
9 Look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, and
pick your nose.
10 While handling guns in the hunting department,
ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.
11 Dart around the store suspiously, loudly humming the
"Mission Impossible" theme.
12 In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using
different size funnels.
13 Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say
"PICK ME!" " PICK ME!"
14 When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the position bend over put your hands to your ears and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"
( And last, but not least!)
15 Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while;
and, then, yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"
